


A Morning Jog is Good for Your Health

by Cherikella



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Charles Xavier has a Ph.D in Adorable, Charles is Crushing Harder than a 12-year Old Girl, Charles is adorkable, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Erik Logic Is The Best Logic, Erik is Crushing Harder than a 12-year Old Girl, First Meeting, Happy Ending, Jogging, Loss, Love, M/M, Raven is not exactly Raven, Research, flirting?, scientific research without the science, villains die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-10-21 01:55:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 24,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10675284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherikella/pseuds/Cherikella
Summary: Charles is late for a meeting so he takes the shortcut through the park where he meets a shark-grinning jogging man who just won't take a hint and let him be.





	1. A Meeting

Charles was late. He was so so very late. He was running through the park, taking the shortcut, hoping he could still get there in time for the meeting. 

Suddenly he realized he was no longer running alone. A tall guy, dressed in gym clothes was jogging right next to him, looking at him. It was weird. Charles frowned at him a few times, utterly confused. 

“What are you doing?” the man asked with a toothy grin. 

Charles was initially taken aback by a stranger asking him questions in the middle of his running -- can’t the man see Charles was busy? -- but then his pride didn’t let him admit that he was ridiculously late for a very important event so instead he shrugged. 

“Jogging.” he replied, not stopping. 

“In your coat?” the man arched an eyebrow. Stubborn! He was probably on to Charles and his stupid tardiness and wanted to show him he saw right through him. 

“I’m still new at it.” Charles lied. Two can play that game! 

“A beginner.” The man seemed to find this even more amusing. 

He kept that same sharky look on his face -- he was smiling but it was definitely not a proper smile! -- and was still jogging in pace with Charles. As if they were buddies or something, jogging together. This whole situation was becoming too ridiculous for Charles. 

“Do you mind?” he exclaimed, hinting that now would be a good time for the stranger to leave. 

“Oh, I don’t mind at all!” the man replied conversationally. “I think jogging is very healthy and more people should do it. Especially in this park.” he said, completely missing Charles’ subtle hint. 

Charles gaped at him. Was he for real? 

Charles was already panting from all the running but shark-guy was not even slightly out of breath. He was was obviously in great shape physically, Charles noted to himself, letting his eyes slide down the lean body for a moment before he looked up again, pointedly, at the man. 

The man chuckled amused.“Well, maybe not in this park though. I encourage people to get some fresh air and excersize but I wouldn’t like if they suddenly flooded my peaceful park with their presence.” 

“ _ Your  _ park.” Charles almost rolled his eyes, desperately trying not to let any signs of amusement slip through his voice. That guy did not need any more encouragement to continue this conversation! 

“Yeah.  _ My  _ park.” the man nodded. 

The way he said it, the expression on his face, this time Charles couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him at that remark. 

“What? I like to come here and relax. To escape the pressure of everyday life.” the man continued, looking ahead of himself and admiring the beautiful trees around them. “It gives me peace.”

“That’s sweet.” Charles heard himself say. 

“I agree, you are.” the man said, eyes back on Charles again and before Charles could process the words, the man was introducing himself -- extending his right hand to Charles right there and then while the two were jogging! What even was that!? “I’m Erik.” 

Before he knew it, Charles was shaking the man’s hand in return. “Charles.” 

“Lovely name. And so rare.” Erik said and it took Charles a moment to realize he was being teased. 

“Um.  _ Unlike  _ Erik!” Charles said with an eye roll. 

The man sighed. “People keep asking me how to spell it.” 

Charles chuckled again. 

“Not kidding. It’s spelled with a  _ k,  _ they keep spelling it with a  _ c.  _ Don’t spell my name with a  _ c,  _ Charles.” Erik said with mock-seriousness. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Charles assured him. Charles could promise that with a clear conscious because obviously he wouldn’t write the name wrong since he would never even need to spell Erik’s name at all. He was probably never going to see the man again. 

For a moment there was a strange heaviness in Charles’ chest at the thought. Jogging here with Erik had indeed been relaxing. As Erik had said, a way to escape stress and anxiety and replace them with peace and serenity instead. Charles hadn’t even known he needed it.

They ran together a bit longer and then finally Charles reached the alley in the park that was going to take him to the main road he needed. 

“Um, this is me.” Charles said, slowing down and jerking his hand towards the alley. Was Erik going to follow him there too? 

“Oh. Well, it was fun jogging with you.” Erik said with a softer smile. Then he quickly added “I jog here every day. Around this same time. It’s like a ritual of sorts to me.” 

Charles nodded. “That’s nice.” 

“Yeah.” Erik nodded again, his grinning growing slightly again. “Yeah, it was. It was great talking to you while jogging. Relaxing.” 

Charles frowned, amused. “Thought you hated your park getting crowded.” 

“One Charles is hardly a crowd.” Erik chuckled and waved Charles goodbye. 

For a few moments Charles stood there, watching Erik jog away -- it was kind of a nice view from behind. Come to think of it, it was a nice view from the front too, Charles was too nervous about his meeting previously to consciously notice. But now, feeling much calmer and at peace, he could definitely notice…  _ things _ . 

Erik was going to be here again tomorrow, for his usual jog. He had told Charles so. Was he  _ inviting  _ Charles to join him again? Were they going to take up jogging together as a hobby? Did Erik want to see Charles again? Was he--

A barking dog nearby pulled Charles out of his stupor and Charles remembered to move and run again, this time towards the road. He was smiling now. Maybe him being late wasn’t as bad as he thought. Maybe he might pick up jogging after all. Maybe he’d see Erik here again tomorrow. And maybe they’d jog together for a long time in their lives. 


	2. Question

They created a sort of tradition of their own. They met at the same place in the part every day and jogged together all morning. Charles even bought himself new clothes that were more ‘jogging appropriate’. Erik approved full-heatedly. It was the one time in Charles’ day that he was actually looking forward to. The rest was mostly dedicated to hiding from his stepfather Kurt at work and then hiding from stepfather Kurt at home. But with Erik… his day was different with Erik.  _ He  _ was different with Erik. Bolder, more open, braver. He liked it. 

“Charles…” Erik began one morning by the end of their usual jogging session. “I was thinking…” 

Charles looked up at him. It seemed to have stunned Erik for a moment because he had to gaze into Charles’ eyes and then clear his throat and look at his feet for a while before he spoke again. 

“I was thinking you and me, we have such good time in this park so I was wondering if we could perhaps some day take it out of the park.” 

Charles frowned confused. Erik had never been so nervous in all the weeks Charles had known him. 

“I mean, we could maybe go out on a date sometime? Would be… interesting. Wouldn’t it?” 

Charles’ eyes went wide. Was Erik really asking him out? Him? It was completely unexpected. They had sort of clicked but Charles never even imagined that Erik ever thought of him in  _ that  _ way. He blushed. 

“It’s fine if you don’t want that. I understand.” Erik said hurriedly, his face falling a little. 

He was  _ disappointed,  _ Charles realized,  because he thought Charles didn’t want to go on a date with him. The thought was striking! 

“No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no.” Charles shook his head. 

Erik blinked. “I see. I didn’t think you’d be  _ this  _ opposed to the idea…” Erik sighed, his face getting paler. 

“No!” Charles gasped again. Damn it, he was so awkward in situations with no clear protocol established in his head. “I meant, go back to asking me! I was not rejecting you. I meant no as in yes, I’d like to go on a date with you.” 

_Yeah, that explanation went well!_ Charles eternally cursed himself. 

“Oh!” Erik’s face lit up. “Oh, that’s wonderful! I really thought you hated the idea.” he chuckled and Charles joined him too. “I was afraid I ruined it all and you won't even want to jog with me anymore.” 

“Oh, I definitely want to keep you as my jogging partner.” Charles winked. And before he knew it, he had made a confession. “Our morning jog is the highlight of my day.” 

Erik laughed at that, obviously taking it as a joke, as any  _ normal  _ person would! Charles blushed sheepishly and bit his lip. Erik sighed again and looked back at his shoes. 

“Well, then, I’ll meet you around 7?” 

Charles nodded. “Sounds good.” 

“And should it be today or--?” 

“Hmm?”

“What day at 7?” 

“Oh, Tuesday?” 

“Tuesday?” Erik chuckled. “Who schedules his dates on a Tuesday?” 

Charles shrugged. “I like to stand out.” 

Erik’s smile softened, becoming warmer and more affectionate somehow. “You sure do.” 

Charles felt his heart skipping a beat when Erik looked at him like that and at that moment it was very important that he stared down at his own shoes too. His cheeks were burning, this was ridiculous! Charles never thought he could feel this way. 

“Well, then, Tuesday at 7 here in the park? Our place?” 

Charles nodded again. “Yes.” 

“Perfection!” 

"Yes..." Charles smiled warmly, the two sharing a sheepish glance at one another as if they were schoolboys. Charles' heart skipped a beat and he bit back his grin. 

"I should go now. Or-- or I'll be late." Charles said. 

"You never told me what you're always so late about." Erik said amused. 

Charles' chest tightened. "Um, yes, well. Maybe sometime I will." he said. 

Deep down Charles wished he didn't have to tell Erik such things about his life. It was not an option he wanted to consider right now when things were going so well. 


	3. A Date

When Charles returned at the mansion after work he rushed to his room as usual, doing his best to avoid everyone. This was an easy task in a mansion so huge but still he had to be careful -- some of his relatives were in the habit of finding him no matter what. 

As soon as the door was closed behind him he let out a breath of relief and let himself enjoy the flutter in his stomach and the elevated heartbeat. Erik asked him out. This sort of thing didn’t happen to Charles. Usually, he kept away from everyone so he hardly knew anybody well enough to want to date them. But Erik with his shark grin and perseverance managed to sneak past Charles’ defenses and find a place for himself inside Charles’ heart. 

It wasn’t love. Charles wasn’t an idiot -- love doesn’t happen after a month of mutual jogging (was that even a thing?). But he could not deny the connection he felt, like they knew each other all along and meeting one another was merely a formality. Maybe he knew Erik from a past life or some alternate reality or something. How else could he explain that talking to Erik seemed so easy to him, when talking to everyone else was-- well, tricky. 

He was lying on his bed, daydreaming and crushing like a 12-year old girl when his sister Raven burst through the door. 

“What are you up to?” She teased the moment she got there. 

Charles grinned at her and rolled his eyes, faking annoyance. 

“So he asked you out, didn’t he?” Raven continued, her smile growing wider, brighter. 

Charles sat up on the bed and smiled back at her, nodding. 

“You look happy.” she noted. “I like it when you look happy.” 

Charles let out a huff of breath that sounded a lot like a sigh and looked Raven in her beautiful eyes. “I like it when you’re happy too.” he said quietly. 

“I am happy, silly!” Raven’s laughter brightened the room. “Especially when I know my big brother’s having a date and is probably going to get laid soon!” 

“Raven!” he blushed, looking anywhere but at his sister. 

“What? Am I not allowed to know about sex? You’re 27, I’m 25. I’m old enough.” 

“It’s still weird.” Charles said. 

“I guess. But it’s not my fault, the things I say. You know that.” she shrugged. 

Charles glanced at her again. It felt good seeing her here. 

“Just sayin’” she continued, leaning in closer, conspiratory. “There’s nothing wrong if you to live a little!” 

Charles remained sitting on his bed, cross-legged, lost in his thoughts. 

~*~ 

He met Erik at the park, by what they were in the habit of calling ‘their tree’. Erik looked dashing. Erik usually looked dashing but particularly so tonight because it was the first time Charles ever saw him in anything but his jogging clothes. Not that Charles was that shallow to only notice beauty when it was well-dressed. But the thought that Erik had put some effort to look handsome especially for Charles made him go all tingly on the inside. 

“Erik.” he smiled, trying for it not to sound too sheepish. 

“You look lovely.” Erik said just when Charles muttered “You look handsome.” 

They laughed. 

“Shall we?” Erik asked with that same toothy grin and Charles nodded, letting Erik lead the way. 

Charles spent his days working and then instantly going home again, finding different ways to entertain himself in his room. He liked it that way -- being among people made him nervous whereas solitude was pleasant. Being outside with Erik though… that was a different thing altogether. Charles could not stop smiling. 

They ordered their food and Erik made a joke about how they always talk so much and now suddenly they were both awkward because they were on a date. Charles thought this observation was particularly funny because it was so true. During their morning jogging sessions they usually mostly discussed about things they liked and disliked, shared opinions, joked, laughed, debated issues. They never really talked about their actual lives. Charles still had no idea what Erik was doing for a living and Erik had no idea what was Charles’ situation. Charles kind of liked that about their relationship. They had created this bubble of a world for themselves with no place for reality -- a bubble world where reality had no power over them, where everything bad or stressful was not allowed to enter. It was only Charles, Erik and the pleasant things they enjoyed talking about. Charles really did not want to cloud their little bubble world by bringing real life to it. 

“So, Charles, what do you do for--?” Erik began and Charles choked on air.

They only just ordered their food and Erik was already asking him what he did for a living? Did it start already? The questions that felt like interrogation? Was he supposed to talk about his life now, about work and… and family? 

Erik blinked at him, surprised by the reaction while Charles consumed a big gulp of water. 

“Um, right. Yes, well, I work for a company. A big one.” he said. Was that enough? He didn’t want to be rude to Erik but his working or living situation was hardly normal. Other people had no trouble talking about their work or their families but things were different for Charles and such conversations took so much more of his energy than they did for other,  _normal_ people. He really didn't want to ruin that one tiny safe space that he had with Erik where the Markos, at least for a moment, did not exist, and where Charles could be himself without having to explain anything to anybody.  

“Good for you.” Erik smiled. “But I meant what do you do for fun? Like, when you’re back home or… or if you go out places?” 

“Oh! I thought--”  _ stupid Charles, stupid!  _ He looked at the breadsticks that were left on the restaurant table as a snack. “I don’t really go out much.” 

“No?” Erik glanced at him as he shoved a breadstick in his mouth, bringing Charles’ attention back to his face. “Why’s that?” 

Charles didn’t really know. He just didn’t feel like it. 

“I just like staying in my room.” he said and internally flinched. He sounded like a stereotypical moody teenager! “I mean, at home. I’m a homebody. Pretty much a hermit, actually.” 

“I see. That’s nice.” Erik said. “I usually go out at least two or three times a week.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah. I mean, I have to go out for work too, work dinners and such, but I need the time off just to myself at least two or three times a week.” 

Charles nodded. “That’s normal.” he said. “We all need our me-time to relax.” 

“True.” Erik took another breadstick and offered it to Charles. Charles blushed and politely declined which seemed to amuse Erik immensely. Then he started nibbling at it while continuing the conversation. “So what do you do in your you-time?” 

“Reading, mostly.” Charles replied. 

From that point onward they discussed books, movies, then somehow reached the topic of science and politics and Charles’ anxiety left him pretty soon. It turned out their evening dining was even more pleasurable than their morning running.

Erik walked Charles back home like a real gentleman and Charles felt ridiculously silly but also ridiculously happy. 

“Wow. You live here?” Erik asked, eyeing the mansion. 

Charles nodded. “Yeah… it’s not mine.” he explained, feeling that familiar ball of nerves returning to his stomach. 

Erik chuckled fondly. “I won’t hold it against you.” he teased and Charles looked up. 

“I had a great time tonight.” he said, meaning it. 

Erik’s smile softened -- a new kind of smile, a smile that took Charles’ breath away and left his knees wobbly. 

“Me too. I’m glad we did this.” Erik said, his voice low and rich, making Charles blush. “Do you think we could do it again?” 

“I think that’s very possible.” 

“And we’re still on for our morning jog in the park? I intend to put you back in shape, old man!” 

Charles rolled his eyes with amusement. “We’re on for our morning jog but you’re not turning me into a health freak like yourself.” 

“I don’t see how can that be a bad thing when it has health in it!” Erik grinned, leaning in, getting closer in Charles’ personal space. 

A part of Charles wanted to take a step back, put more distance between them like Charles usually did in such situations. But this was Erik. And Charles really liked Erik. _A lot._ He looked up at his date and held his breath as if expecting something. Erik smirked at the sight and before Charles knew it they were kissing. 

It was a chaste kiss, a gentle one and yet it was charged with so much passion, a kiss like a promise for more to come. When they pulled away Charles’ heart was doing insane leaps inside his chest and his cheeks were burning but he couldn’t help grinning at Erik. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Erik said, letting Charles go. 

“Tomorrow see you I.” Charles replied articulately. 


	4. A Research

Charles fixed himself a sandwich for dinner and was about to sneak it into his bedroom to eat it there in peace when his stepfather showed up at the door frame. Charles froze. Kurt Marko never came down to the servants quarters -- kitchens and such were beneath him. He swallowed. 

“I was about to eat…” Charles mumbled dumbly, not sure why he was explaining himself but feeling like he had to.

“Not yet.” Kurt said, taking a step into the kitchen. Charles instinctively took a step back. “So I hear you’ve been acting weird at work.” the man said. “What’s that about?” 

“Weird? In what sense?” Charles asked, voice quivering slightly. Charles quickly got it under control. He knew he was weak, he didn’t want to look weak though. 

“Don’t play dumb, I know you’re not  _ that  _ stupid!”

“I really have no idea what you’re talking about, Kurt. I’m a weird guy. People always think I’m acting weird even if I’m just being myself.” 

Kurt narrowed his eyes. “That’s true. You are a little weirdo, aren’t you?” Silence. Who was Charles to argue with that? The statement was correct after all. Kurt took another step towards him. “Are you doing your job, properly?” 

Charles swallowed and nodded quickly. “Yes. As best as I can. As usual.” 

“That’s not what my friend El Sabah Nur said.” Kurt took yet another step towards Charles. It was enough to make the shorter man flinch. “He says you still haven’t reached any results!” 

“It’s a difficult research, I need time for actual results.” Charles replied. “But I am working on it.” 

“Well, work harder then!” Kurt suddenly shouted, startling Charles again. “You work there for a reason, boy! Or need I remind you what could happen if you cross me or my friend?” 

Charles felt his hands starting to tremble so he he gathered all his inner strength to steady them. “I am working on the research as hard as possible. Ask any scientist, they’ll assure you my progress is remarkable considering the circumstances.” 

Bold move. Charles knew well that Kurt would not bring another scientist into this. Even though Charles had asked him on multiple occasions, explaining that another opinion would be beneficial to the research, each time Kurt had declined.  

Kurt’s eyes were pierced on Charles, penetrating and stern. “You better make real progress soon.” he said and with one sudden hand movement he pushed the plate with the sandwich off Charles’ hands. It hit the kitchen floor loudly, breaking into tiny pieces. 

Charles remained frozen under his stepfather’s intense glare, waiting for him to leave. 

“You know what’s at stake here.” Kurt hissed and finally turned around and left the kitchen.

~*~ 

“You shouldn’t let him treat you like that.” Raven said, examining the trinkets on Charles’ bookshelves in Charles’ room. “It’s not right.” 

“I have no choice.” Charles said. 

“There’s always a choice. You used to tell me that. Remember?” 

She looked at him with that little smile of hers and Charles nodded. He did remember. 

“So follow your own advice, Charles. Make a choice. I’m  _ letting  _ you.” 

Charles looked back at his hands. “I made a choice already.” 

Raven rolled her eyes with a dramatic sigh. “Some choice!” 

“I work for El Sabah Nur and I keep Kurt happy. That’s all I have to do at this point.” 

“Happy? If that’s Kurt happy, I don’t see why you even bother. You should stand up to him. Or at least get away from him. Don’t let him bully you like that!” 

“I know. I’m a coward.” Charles said, not really sounding particularly upset with that revelation, like it was something he had already accepted. 

Raven knelt down on the floor, taking his hands in her, looking up at him with her carrying bright eyes. Charles remembered her eyes from when they were children. “You’re not a coward, Charles.” she said softly. “But you need to be more confident in yourself. I know why you’re doing all of this but I’m telling you you shouldn’t. I mean it. You aren’t obligated to do any of it for me.” 

“Raven, I want to--” Charles whispered and he had to bit back his lips because tears were suddenly burning in his eyes. 

“I know. It’s alright. I love you.” Raven comforted him. He wished she’d hug him but she didn’t and he knew there was no point in asking. 

“It’s been, what, nearly 13 years now.” Raven said quietly. “It’s time to move on.” 

Charles stared at the blank space before him, finally letting a tear slide down his cheek as he took in a deep shaky breath. 

~*~

Charles was in the lab at Apocalypse Inc. where he worked all of his adult life. He was wearing protective goggles to keep the substances from getting in his eyes and ruining his eyesight. Those were some dangerous chemicals he was dealing with. He knew he had no licence for this research, it was all very secretive. No one had to know he was doing these experiments. For some reason Kurt and El Sabah Nur never let any other scientists near the research although Charles was sure they could bribe someone to be discrete about it. He wasn’t sure why they didn’t trust anyone else with it but he had his own reasons to continue the research despite everything. And Kurt knew it so he used that in his favor. He needed Charles. The only reason Kurt didn’t stop paying for Charles’ education after Charles graduated high school early, at 14, was so that Charles could be useful. 

Charles remembered it as if it were yesterday, even though it was nearly 13 years ago. He was 14 and still in shock when Kurt called him in his office and told him he was to study twice as hard if he wanted to help Raven. And Charles did. Of course he did. He studied at university, he gathered all the information he could, spent his youth between the library and the lab so he could gain as much knowledge as possible. And he did not regret it. He would do anything to help Raven, to have her back. Even if that meant being treated like dirt by guys like Kurt and El Sabah Nur.

Charles may hate his working environment but he did find his research interesting. He still had no idea why Kurt Marko and Mr. El Sabah Nur wanted to develop this serum but Charles himself had personal reasons as well as scientific curiosity to fuel his motivation to make this scientific breakthrough. The serum he was working on was basically supposed to enhance or awaken hidden potential in human DNA. Charles was not sure what that potential might turn out to be but he was hoping it included helping Raven, making her strong enough to-- He had to wipe a tear away because his goggles were beginning to steam up. He took a deep breath and looked down at his research again. He was close to his breakthrough but not quite there yet. The serum needed a few more chemical tests before he could deem it safe. He glanced at the clock. It was past closing time but Charles preferred to stay in the lab tonight. After all, what was waiting for him at that mansion? Better to spend his time in a more productive ways than being yelled at by Kurt again. 

Just when he was about to return to his work a colleague, Warren Kenneth Worthington III, -- talk about misfortunate pretentious names! -- showed up from behind, almost startling Charles. Seriously, the man came and went as if he had wings fast as lightning. 

“Mr. Sabah Nur wants to know if you’re ready to test your research on a living being.” he said and Charles nearly dropped the testtube. 

“What? No, not yet. It’d be too dangerous.” Charles replied. 

“Mr. Sabah Nur is tired of waiting. Just so you know, he’ll probably send a test subject to the lab soon. Don’t overreact when that happens.” 

Charles frowned confused but Warran left unfazed. Warran was used to following El Sabah Nur’s orders. Charles couldn’t quite blame him for it. The guy probably had good reasons for it too. 

Charles felt a cold shiver down his spine. Mr. Sabah Nur loved surprising his employees and those surprises were rarely pleasant. And with Charles doing his research in secret, who knew what that man would bring as a test subject. Probably a rat or a bunny or a cat… It was still unfair to risk hurting the poor creature, even if it was in the name of science. Charles looked back at his testtubes and data, working twice as hard to make sure the serum was well perfected before Mr. Sabah Nur brought in the lab rats. 


	5. A Lab Rat

“You sure you’re okay today?” Erik asked during their usual morning run. 

“Same as always.” Charles replied a little reluctantly. He didn’t want to lie to Erik but he couldn’t fake joy either. He wasn’t joyful. Not when his thoughts were with his research and what new surprises his boss might suddenly throw at him. 

Erik stopped running, taking Charles’ hand in his. “You know you can talk to me, right? Whatever it is that’s bothering you, you can tell me.” 

Charles almost melted right there and then. Erik’s voice was so comforting and his gaze so warm, it made Charles’ heart flutter. He felt like the worst man alive because he  _ wanted  _ to share with Erik but he knew well that he shouldn’t. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Erik -- surprisingly, he trusted Erik more than he trusted anyone else, -- but he was afraid that telling him about the research might endanger Erik somehow. Charles wasn’t sure if his stepfather or En Sabah Nur would go as far as harming people for knowing about a super-secret research but he didn’t want to take a risk with Erik. Erik’s well-being was a priority! 

It was frustrating that his job once again prevented him from having a normal life. IT took from him this one simple activity of sharing workday stories with his boyfriend, complaining about his boss, whining about how stressed he was. He could not do any of these normal things. But that was his reality, and hopefully, after the research was over Charles would be able to quit and leave that part of his life behind him. Maybe then he could explain to Erik everything. If Erik was still with him by then, of course… 

Erik cleared his throat and Charles realized he was still waiting for a reply. He was beginning to look concerned. 

“You really seem troubled, Charles.” Erik said. 

“It’s just work.” Charles shrugged, still holding Erik’s hands. The touch was too pleasant to let go. 

“Is work troubling you? Too much stress?” 

Charles nodded. “These days especially.” he sighed. 

“I’m here for you, Charles.” 

Charles smiled. “I know. And I know I can talk to you about anything. But it’s just work related. It’s--” he trailed off. 

“I know how stuff at work can get.” Erik rolled his eyes with a little smile of his own. “Things can get rough. We’re put under a lot of pressure sometimes and it can be quite stressful. And you never talk about it with me so I assume--” 

“There’s not much to it to talk about.” Charles said hurriedly. “You know?”

“I know. Okay. I just don’t want you stressing out, that’s all. Maybe we could go to my place and I could give you a relaxing massage. I’m really good with my hands.” 

Charles chuckled and gave him an affectionate smile. “You’re so sweet to worry about me like that.” he said, feeling all warm inside. “No one ever does that. Not since-- since a long time.” 

“You’re not alone anymore, Charles. You have me by your side now.” Erik said and when he leaned in to kiss him Charles could hardly remember what his research even was about. 

~*~

“This is Armando Muñoz.” Warren said, his face unreadable. 

Charles frowned at the man, sitting on the metal table in the middle of the lab. He was wearing a hospital gown and looking straight ahead as if he did not see neither Charles, nor Warran.  

“I don’t understand.” Charles said. “Why are you here exactly?” 

The question was directed at Mr. Muñoz but the man hardly showed any signs of even hearing the words. 

“Remember when I said we’ll bring you a lab rat?” Warren arched an eyebrow. Charles paled. “That’s the lab rat.” 

Charles shook his head. “No.” he said firmly. 

Warren let out an exasperated sigh. “I warned you not to overreact.” 

“This is a  _ person _ , Warren!” Charles gasped, his chest tight. 

Warren shrugged and Charles had to wonder what kind of assignments did En Sabah Nur usually give Warren if this situation did not faze him not even a little bit. Warren continued. “He knows what he’s doing. It’s all a job.” 

“This is insane.” Charles turned towards the man in the hospital gown. “Can hear me?” 

Muñoz nodded. 

“The serum may not be safe to test yet. Do you understand that?” 

“I am aware of the risks.” Armando nodded again. “They’ve told me, I signed a contract and everything. It’s fine.” 

Charles gaped at him. “Fine? No, it’s not fine!” he protested, his voice sounding terribly weak in his own ears. 

“Don’t tell me a scientist working for Apocalypse Inc. developed a conscience. How are you not fired yet?” Armando replied, a small, hard to detect smirk appearing across his lips. 

Charles frowned even more, embarrassment reddening his face. 

“My family’s getting payed for it so it’s fine. You have my consent. It’s not the first job in that line that I’ve done.” 

Before Charles could reply Warren placed a warning hand on his shoulder. “We shouldn’t waste time.” he reminded emotionlessly. 

“Warren, there’s a limit!” Charles whispered. “The serum is not ready to be tested  _ on a human!”  _

“Sorry, doc. No limits here. We work to break all limits.” Warren replied, his hand still steady on Charles’ shoulder, reminding him that with or without Charles’ consent the experiment will go on. “Don’t you want to see the effects of your serum? To gather more data? To improve? Where’s your scientific curiosity?” 

Charles felt his eyes watering. “Not on a  _ person _ . I’m not certain it’s safe.” he bit his lower lip to prevent it from quivering. Conducting illegal unregistered research was one; testing an unstable product on a living human being was another thing altogether. It was wrong. 

Warren suppressed another sigh. “I was warned you might whine about it.” he said more to himself than to Charles. Then he spoke louder. “Listen to me now. Mr. Sabah Nur does not have time to wait. Armando is here on his own will. We haven’t kidnapped him or forced him to make this choice. He knows why he’s here. He needs the money and we need his body. It’s a fairly simple transaction. A win win, so to speak. So I suggest you stop faking good citizen and start doing what you’re here for.” he leaned in closer to Charles and whispered. “We both know that we’ll complete the procedure today with or without you, Charles. Don’t be so naive to think you can actually prevent it from happening.” Charles swallowed nervously; he did know Warren described their situation very accurately. “If you want to be here and take care of Armando after he’s injected with the serum, if you want to collect data and keep working on this research, then stay. If you’d rather quit and abandon the research, then you need to have this conversation with Mr. Sabah Nur and he’ll take care of you. But I am proceeding the experiment with or without you today. We could always get a new scientist if you disappear.”  _ Disappear.  _ Warren didn’t say leave, quit or hand in your resignation, he said  _ disappear.  _ There was something ominous about that word in this context. Charles pursed his lips. “It’s a simple choice.” 

Warren waited, looking at Charles carefully as if expecting him to do something unpredictable. 

Charles did not do anything unpredictable. He only sucked in a deep breath and nodded, his shoulders slumping even more than usual, his face paler than ever, his hands slightly shaking.

“Shouldn’t we at least have a medical team here?” he tried to reason with Warren one last time. 

Warren shook his head. “No, it’s all a secret, remember. Besides, I have a fair amount of medical knowledge. That will have to do for now.”  

Charles swallowed and nodded. His blue eyes met Armando’s brown ones. The man -- a healthy young man with so much life ahead of him if only Charles’ serum worked safely -- seemed perfectly calm, decisive. Charles envied him his serenity at a moment like that. He shook off these thoughts and started setting up everything for the experiment. 

Armando waited patiently. So did Warren. Although Warren never once looked away from Charles, keeping an eye on him at all times, just in case. Charles smiled bitterly. Didn’t Warren know that they’ve broken Charles’ spirit a long time ago? He was a shell of a man. Depressed and anxious 24/7. Sometimes he wondered what he would’ve been like without his depression and anxiety. They’ve been his constant companions for so long, he wondered how much of his personality was due to these two shadows, hanging over his head. Would he have been a much different man had he been free of depression and anxiety? He shook those thoughts off too. They felt selfish and pointless at a moment like this. 

Charles was not convinced the serum was safe yet. The results of injecting it inside a person would be unpredictable and this poor man -- Armando -- was risking his health for Apocalypse Inc. Charles felt sick for being a part of this. He felt a tear rolling down his cheek as he prepared the syringe. 

~*~ 

For a moment Armando seemed alright. No visible change, his indicators were stable, nothing to worry about. But then suddenly everything went wrong. Armando’s blood pressure went up, his brain and heart activities were going nuts, all indicators at once started doing insane things that were not supposed to happen. 

Charles rushed towards Armando to try and stabilize him. 

“Warren! Help me!” he yelled desperately as Armando began to shake and choke on air. The color on his face was changing rapidly from his natural brown to unnaturally pale and then even to strange shades of red and purple. Charles had never seen anything like it before. He didn’t know what to do to help the man. He needed the help of a professional doctor, or at least Warren’s help since the man claimed to be as good as a professional doctor. _ “NOW!”  _ Charles called out again. 

Finally Warren showed up with a bunch of medications, making efforts of his own to stabilize Armando and avert the crisis.  

“Hold this!” Warren instructed and Charles did as was said. 

Nothing changed though, no improvement. The man in front of them was still in the same condition, not getting better, in fact, getting worse, despite their efforts. They were losing him! They were losing him and they could do nothing to stop it at this point. It all happened so quickly. Before he knew it, Charles watched with horror as less than a moment later Armando  _ exploded _ . 

_ Armando literally exploded! _ He evaporated and then turned into a pile of dust right in front of their eyes!

Charles let out a loud shriek, terrified out of his mind. 

Warren shrugged. “Well, that just happened.” 

Charles averted his eyes from the pile of dust that used to be Armando Muñoz to stare dumbly at Warren. Warren glanced at Charles too. 

“I take it you’d need a sample? From the dust?” he asked nonchalant. “To collect more data, discover what could be improved?” 

Charles took a shaky step back, away from Warren, away from  _ the dust,  _ away from Apocalypse Fucking Inc.! He was in shock, or having a panic attack, or something like that, he had no idea anymore. He couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, but most of all he couldn’t remain in this godforsaken place that made him do this to an innocent man! 

“Charles?” Warren frowned. He was telling him something, talking to him, listing options or suppositions probably. An analysis of where they went wrong. But Charles ignored all of it. Without giving any sort of explanation he turned around and ran out of the lab, leaving Warren shout after him. 

“Charles, wait! Charles!”

He kept running. His vision was blurred by tears but he kept running, desperate to get away from here, to make it all end, to feel safe and at peace again! There was no clear direction in his mind, he had no idea where to go or what to do. He had ran away without a further plan. Before he knew it he realized he was in Erik’s building, ringing the doorbell and knocking on the door of Erik’s apartment with a trembling fist. He was shivering and crying, short pitiful whimpers escaping from his parted lips. His hair was a mess,  _ he  _ was a mess, but he needed that one thing more than anything right now. 

The key turned and the door was unlocked. Erik’s confused face showed up at the door frame. “Charles?” he said, surprised. 

Without any further ado Charles wrapped himself around Erik, seeking the warmth and comfort of his embrace. 

“It was terrible, Erik! It was so terrible!” Charles gasped, trying to make himself breathe. “It was so horrible!  _ I _ did something horrible!” 

Erik’s arms slowly found their way around Charles too, enveloping him like that, keeping him safe. 

“It’s alright, Charles.” Erik’s pleasant voice said softly to him. “Why don’t you get inside, have some hot tea and tell me all about it.” Erik guided Charles inside, his arms resting on the shorter man’s back as he closed the door behind them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: cannon character death -- it's cannon so it should not be that big a surprise really but still I thought I should warn you. 
> 
> A/N: I usually always write a happy ending in my stories, no matter what I put us all through during the middle parts. So just keep that in mind while reading. ^_~


	6. A Security Blanket

Charles was still shaking on Erik’s couch, curling up on himself in the blanket Erik brought him. Wrapped inside he felt a little safer, pulling it high up to his cheeks as if he were a turtle and the blanket was his shell. Erik was in the kitchen, making tea because Erik was a caring and loving boyfriend and Charles didn’t deserve someone like that in his life. He tried not to think about that and looked at his left. 

“I don’t want to say  _ ‘I told you so’ _ , but  _ I told you so _ .” Raven curled her legs close to her chest on the other side of the couch. She rested her head on her knees, wrapping her arms around them and looking at Charles sideways. “I warned you to get away from it all while you still could. It seems too late now.” 

Charles sighed. 

“Look, it wasn’t really your fau--” she began but Charles’ desperate glare made her shut up. He knew it was his fault. No one should dare say otherwise. “Alright.” Raven nodded and remained silent. 

Charles rested his eyes for a moment. Noise of cups clattering from the kitchen indicated that Erik was almost done preparing the tea. Charles tried not to think about the lab equipment clattering in a similar way earlier when he was preparing the serum. 

He really scared Erik this afternoon. He owed him an explanation but explaining things, even only bits and pieces, made Charles feel like a despicable human being. 

He sucked in another deep breathe. The shock was slowly wearing off, even though he was still shivering. Maybe he was coming down with a cold on top of everything else. On top of  _ murdering a person,  _ Charles’ mind supplied and Charles felt yet another shivering wave of anxiety. 

He didn’t hear Erik coming in the living room until the other man gently attracted his attention. 

“Hey.” Erik said softly, placing the tea down on the coffee table next to his phone.  

Charles looked up at Erik. “Thank you.” he said quietly. At least his voice sounded less pathetic now. He took the tea cup with both hands and sipped from it as he glanced at his left again. The seat on the couch next to him was empty. 

Erik gave Charles a gentle tap on the shoulder and sat down opposite him, no doubt to have a better view on Charles’ face. The state of Charles’ mind was suddenly no secret to Erik. Erik could clearly see his boyfriend was unwell and naturally he wanted to make sure Charles didn’t hurt himself while he was so unstable and shaky. There was no escaping a serious conversation this time and Charles knew it. 

“Do you feel like you can talk about it now or are you not ready yet?” Erik finally asked when he realized Charles wasn’t taking the initiative in communicating here. 

“I’ll talk.” Charles consented.  _ He owed Erik this much after dropping at his door like that,  _ Charles reminded himself. He took a moment and then began. “I’m so sorry, Erik, I really am but I needed you so badly that I came here on autopilot.” 

“It’s alright, Charles. Of course, you’re always welcome here!” Erik assured him and Charles felt at least a little less tense. 

“It’s to do with my work.” There. He’s said it. And the world did not end. It did not explode like Armando did. Right in front of Charles’ eyes. Because of Charles and his serum. Because it didn’t work. Because it was dangerous. Because it  _ killed  _ Armando.  _ Charles killed Armando.  _ Focus! “I work for a big company, as I said. I conduct researches for them. And my research… it went wrong! It went so wrong!” his voice cracked again and he needed another moment and another reassuring pat on his back from Erik before he could continue. “It was too early to test it but no one listened to me. And I’m too pathetic and weak to stand up for myself and tell them to stop and to just… to just fuck off!” 

“You’re neither pathetic, nor too weak, Charles.” Erik said. “Maybe you need to be more self-assured.” 

“Don’t try to make me feel better about it, Erik. I  _ don’t deserve that _ . Something terrible happened to someone because of me.” he was shaking even more now. “Erik, I-- my research hurt someone.  _ I  _ hurt someone.” 

“They made you test your research on a person?” Erik frowned. 

Charles’ anxiety instantly kicked in again. He gave Erik information about his research. What if En Sabah Nur finds out? What if Kurt finds out? What if the  _ police  _ finds out? Charles was probably going to jail after the incident. It was a mistake coming here. It was a mistake coming into Erik’s life. Charles should never have been so selfish! 

“I shouldn’t have come here, shouldn’t have involved you in this. I’m sorry, I’ll leave right now. I’ll--”

“No!” Erik said quickly, placing his hand on top of Charles’ knee to stop him from getting up. “You stay here where you’re safe. I’ll-- I’ll get you another cup of tea.” he took Charles’ half empty cup and his phone from the table and rushed to the kitchen. 

Charles remained in the living room, suddenly feeling lonelier than ever. Was he really staying at Erik’s place? Even though he knew well that this was another weakness on his part? Erik did not deserve to be involved in Charles’ messes. He had to be strong this time and do the right thing. He got up and headed to the kitchen, the blanket wrapped around his body like a toga. 

He found Erik on his phone, texting. He almost dropped it when he noticed Charles. 

“What are you doing here? You need rest!” Erik frowned. He shoved his phone back into his pocket and pulled Charles into a hug. 

For a moment it felt strange to Charles that Erik would text someone while Charles was so upset in the other room but Erik’s warm welcoming embrace did the trick to further calm him down. He relaxed into it and let Erik take control. 

“Let’s have you lie down, okay?” Erik said. “You were in shock, Charles. And honestly, I suspect you still are in shock. Maybe try to sleep?” 

“I can’t. The moment I close my eyes I see Armando’s face… and dust...” Charles muttered, grimacing, running his hand over his face in a tired gesture. 

“Alright then. How about a sleeping pill? Or, or maybe a bit of spooning? I’m so good at that.” 

Charles looked up at Erik’s face again, those familiar blue-green eyes so gorgeous that Charles once again wanted to drown in them. 

“I have a better idea.” he said, pressing his lips to Erik’s and sliding his hands down to the belt of Erik’s trousers. 

Erik remained very very still. His hands let go of Charles. His entire body was tense, turning into a giant  _ stop  _ sign. Charles pulled away and frowned. 

“What’s the matter?” 

“Charles, I-- I can’t do this right now. You’re-- you’re not really yourself. I’ll be taking advantage.” 

“I’m not drunk, Erik.” 

“No, no, you’re not. You’re just in shock.” The sarcasm was dripping through his words even if there was no ill intent to it. “You just had the worst day in your life -- your words, not mine.” Charles couldn’t deny that. “I want to do this right.” 

Charles swallowed. Erik had a point. Even if Charles wanted to forget everything that happened today, it was wrong to use Erik as a distraction. Erik deserved better. 

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” he said, hanging his head down guiltily. 

“We can still cuddle. I want to be there for you, Charles, to comfort you…” Erik said, sounding a little helpless as he reached out to Charles. 

“You already did more than enough. Listening, helping me to calm down. Thank you, Erik. I’ll be off now. I’m feeling better.” he lied. “And I need to deal with this on my own.” 

“Are you sure? You’re free to stay here for as long as you like.” 

“No, no, I’m fine. I need to deal with it on my own.” Charles said again and forced a smile. “I have a lot to think about. But I’ll fix it. And I’ll do the right thing.” 

That said, Charles removed the blanket from himself and handed it to Erik. 

“Charles… I worry about you…” Erik muttered, his fingers brushing against Charles’ hand, those eyes -- oh, those eyes -- looking at him with so much care and affection. 

Charles wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and took in his scent -- a hug he really needed to keep himself sane. “I love you, Erik.” he whispered before letting him go and leaving. 

Erik remained there puzzled for a long moment until his phone buzzed and brought him back to reality. It was a text from his colleague and friend Azazel. 

_ It’s done. Az  _ \-- the text read. 

Erik pursed his lips and typed back. 

_ Be right there. Don’t start anything without me. EL  _

He shoved the phone back into his pocket, grabbed his jacket and left. 

~*~

Charles decided to walk all the way back to the mansion. His phone wasn’t with him -- he left it at the lab, he realized. His coat wasn’t with him either -- he left that in the lab as well, with the phone in the right pocket. It was chilly outside but in his exhausted mind Charles felt like he deserved to be freezing. As if subjecting his body to the wind and the cold would make him less guilty of Armando’s death. It did not. He still felt terrible and knowing that this young life ended because of him was a horrible burden. 

Charles had opened up to Erik though and he couldn’t help worried that this was yet another mistake. Sure, he didn’t tell Erik  _ all  _ of it. But even this much information could be enough to really upset Kurt or Mr. Sabah Nur. Charles wasn’t sure what they were capable of. He messed things up. Messed things up badly. And he had no idea how to fix them, even though he wanted to. He was too tired to even try now. 

He briefly contemplated going to the police and confessing everything but that would probably result in him getting arrested too and going to jail wouldn’t really help Raven. 

Raven… he needed to see Raven. He needed to see Raven right away! 

~*~ 

“Where is he?” Kurt Marko almost shouted at the phone. Whatever reply came from the other end of the line, it was not something Mr. Marko liked for he yelled some more. “We need to find him at once! A pile of ashes cannot just vanish into thin air! We need the data!” the voice from the other end of the line mumbled something, probably an agreement or an apology. Those were usually the best tactics when Mr. Marko shouted angrily at you. Then a question. “Charles? No, no need to look for him anymore. I know exactly where to find him.” 

~*~ 

“Charles Xavier. I’m her brother.” Charles told the nurse. 

“Yes, I know who you are, Mr. Xavier. You can go straight inside.” the nurse replied and Charles did just that. 

He crossed the familiar corridors, walked the well-known path and finally reached Raven’s room. Raven’s hospital room. He pushed the door open and entered. 

“Hello, Raven.” he let out a small exhale and a fond smile. “Oh, I’ve missed you…” he said and closed the door behind himself. 


	7. A Raven

He pulled up a chair and placed it close to the head of Raven’s hospital bed. Then he sat down and looked at his sister. His movements were slow and methodical as if trying to fake calmness.

“So here I am.” Charles said softly as he brushed his fingers lightly across Raven’s hand.

It broke his heart a little all over again that she did not respond. The machines were beeping around her, a constant reminder of her condition. Charles shut his eyes closed for a moment to collect himself. He hated seeing Raven like this, it was terrible. He could never get used to it and he never wanted to get used to it either. Getting used to it meant accepting it and he could simply not accept it. He _would not_ accept it.

He sucked in a shaky breath and opened his eyes again. “You look lovely. You’ve grown into quite the beauty.” he chuckled, unable to hold the sad undertones from his voice.

No reply came. His voice sounded weird in the silence, accompanied only by the beeping sounds of the medical equipment.

“Well, you’ve always been beautiful.” Charles continued. “And clever.” he added, taking Raven’s hand in his. “And-- and so very brave…” another deep inhale. He was holding Raven’s hand in both of his now. “Raven, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry I failed you.”

He broke into tears, pressing his forehead to Raven’s hand as he sobbed. There was no one to stop him from crying now. He needed to let it all out anyway.

Raven -- the other Raven, the Raven inside his head, the Raven that was his constant companion over the years -- placed a comforting hand on Charles’ shoulder. He could feel it as if it were more than just a fantasy. The real Raven, of course, was lying unconscious in her hospital bed. Her eyes closed, face calm and unexpressive, silent. Coma patients tended to be that way, you see. They didn’t talk. And Raven was just that -- a coma patient. His bright, vibrant, cheerful sister Raven has been in a coma for the last 13 years.

Charles cleared his throat. “The research was supposed to work. I really wanted it to. Enhancing hidden potential in the DNA, you see. It had to enhance your cells and wake you up. It had to trigger your body’s ability to fight and make it possible for you to-- to open your eyes again. To come back to me...”

The doctors had given up on Raven’s case long ago. People in her condition did not wake up again. Kurt was only keeping Raven around to have something on Charles. Only Charles still maintained actual true hope, waiting for a miracle and subjecting himself to living with Kurt Marko and working for En Sabah Nur so that he could create the serum and help his beloved sister. If only he had the funds to conduct this research on his own, without needing Kurt’s money. But his mother Sharon gave away his trust fund to her husband before she died. So like it or not Charles was dependant on the Markos. Finding a sponsor for a dubious research like that would take ridiculously long time, time that Charles could not afford to lose. It was worth it and Charles did not regret his decision -- not once -- until now. A human life was lost because of Charles’ goal. And nothing, _nothing,_ was worth sacrificing a human life. Not even the chance to wake Raven again. He had to find another way around it, he had to find a way to buy more time until he was sure the serum was safe. Would he even be able to look Raven in the eyes after what he did if she-- _when_ she wakes up?

Charles was so deep in thought that he lost account of time. Suddenly he heard a voice, coming from behind him.

“A brother at his sister’s sickbed. How sweet.”

Charles froze. The voice belonged to Kurt Marko. Kurt Marko was _in Raven’s room._

Charles jumped up from his chair, getting between Marko and Raven’s bed protectively.

“Hello, Charles. No need to look so scared.” his stepfather said with a deceptive smile on his face. “I’m here to talk.”

Charles paled as Kurt closed the door behind him.

~*~

_13 years ago…_

“Apparently, she was badly hurt when she fell down the stairs--” Sharon explained after her last conversation with the doctors.

“She didn’t fall! Cain pushed her!” Charles gasped. His hands were still trembling, he couldn’t stop them. Seeing his sister like that, her face when she finally hit the bottom of the stairs… It terrified him.

“Now, Charles. It’s no good spreading lies like that.” Sharon scolded, aiming for stern, although at that point in her life she couldn’t really pretend that well that she cared about, well, anything, really.

“But it’s not lies! It’s the truth! I saw him!” Charles insisted, his voice getting embarrassingly squeaky.

Cain grimaced at him dangerously. He’s always been a big boy, even if he wasn’t that much older than Charles himself. Charles swallowed nervously but ignored the look on Cain’s face. The truth had to be heard. It was important.

“It may have appeared that way to you but you were down in the living room. You could not have known for sure. Your view was--”

“Perfect! My view was perfect! I saw him push her!”

“And yet, you did nothing to save her.” Kurt Marko interjected. “You let her fall. And now she’s in a coma.”

Charles froze. “I-- I didn’t know how to…” he confessed weakly. “It happened so fast…”

The memory of these events were from the perspective of the 13 year old boy that he was then, but still Charles could swear Kurt Marko smirked at him at that moment. He smirked while Charles’ sister was in a coma in a hospital, after she was pushed down the stairs by Kurt’s odious son.

“You were there and my son was there when this tragic event happened.” Kurt continued when he was sure all the family was listening to him. “Cain was at the top of the stairs and you were at the bottom. He couldn’t prevent Raven from falling and neither did you. Now. I leave the choice to you, Charles. Were you both to blame for not being able to grab Raven in time, or are you both innocent observers of an accident, caused by bad luck?”

Charles was about to protest again when his mother spoke and prematurely interrupted him.

“Of course Cain was not to blame.” she said. “It’s a terrible thing what happened to Raven. I’m utterly distraught. But it was nobody’s fault. That is not the point here. Granted they had their misunderstandings but we all know the kids would not go as far as pushing one another down the stairs! Throwing blame would not make her condition any better.”

Kurt nodded and so did Cain. All eyes were on Charles now.

“But he did push her…” he said once again, anger rising in his chest. “He did! He did!” he repeated as tears were welling up in his eyes. He didn’t know why it was so important to expose that Cain did it -- his mother was right, it wasn’t going to heal Raven or wake her up -- but he still needed to. And yet when he glanced at Cain the other boy was silently mocking him for his outburst with a pleased expression on his face. Charles glared at him. “My sister’s in a coma because of you!” he yelled at Cain and charged at him with his fists.

Charles was never good at violence. He disliked it. He was no fighter, not with fists anyway. One swift motion on Cain’s part and Charles was flying to the floor, bruised and hurt both emotionally and physically. “It was him…” he whispered desperately. Why won’t anyone listen?

His mother was looking at him in shock. “Charles! Apologize to Cain at once! I never expected you to be so-- so _violent!”_

That was probably the last time his mother truly looked at him. Her last glance was one of disappointment and hurt. And he could never make up for it. Even at her dying bed she still believed Charles was the reason she could never move on from Brian Xavier’s death. Charles who looked so much like his father was a constant reminder of the man she lost. And Charles who never befriended Cain or Kurt was the reason her second family failed.

The day Raven fell asleep was the day Charles became all alone in this world.

Years past, people stopped sending the Xaviers ‘get better’ cards for Raven. Everyone thought the girl who was only 12 when she hit her head, was likely never waking up again.

No one payed much attention to Charles and he was alright with that. Kurt ignored him, Sharon neglected him, Cain mocked him but did not lay a finger at him -- not until after Sharon’s death. Charles wasn’t even there when his mother died. And from what he heard she didn’t ask for him either.

He spent his youth studying and trying to figure out a way to help Raven wake up. He was sure there must be some way and with the right encouragement Raven would open her eyes again. There were a few miraculous cases he had read about of people waking up after 20 years in a coma. He was hoping it wouldn’t take Raven this long, of course, but those were still impressive and inspiring cases.

He had mostly conducted his amateur researches in secret. He expected Kurt to disapproved of Charles’ activities. But instead he was surprised to find out Kurt very much approved. In fact, one evening Kurt called Charles in his office and introduced him to his new friend, a mister En Sabah Nur. Together they told Charles they would give him the education and the equipment to conduct proper researches. To this day Charles had no idea why they were suddenly so interested in science. But he still agreed when the opportunity was there. It was then when his real research started. It was then when he began developing the first versions of his serum.

~*~

_Present day…_

 

Back in Raven’s hospital room Charles had to face Kurt once again. His stepfather was probably furious because the serum didn’t work. Charles had no idea what Kurt would do to him but whatever it was Charles felt like he deserved it. Instead of yelling, however, Charles was met with a smile.

“My men were looking for you, Charles. But I knew you’d hide in here.”

“I’m not hiding.” Charles said.

“No, of course not. You always were a brave little hobbit, correct?” The condescending smirk on Kurt’s face no longer worked on Charles, no longer hurt him.

He remained silent, standing defensively in front of Raven as if his small frame could protect his sister from Kurt Marko and all his men who were probably waiting outside.

“I want you to come back to the lab with me.” His stepfather said.

Charles shook his head, doing his best to keep the tears from rolling down his eyes. “I can’t. Not after-- I can’t.”

“You have to continue the research.”

“I can’t do this again. Not to another person. Not until the serum is harmless. I need more time! I won’t come with you!”

“But you will. _Especially_ after the last test proved to be so successful.”

“Successful?” Charles gasped incredulously. “The man turned into dust in front of my eyes! How is that successful?”

“The ashes are gone, Charles. No one gets inside that lab. Where did the ashes go?” Another smirk.

Charles frowned in confusion. “What are you saying?”

“Something happened in that lab. Something big.” Kurt continued. “Now, we don’t have cameras there, for obvious reasons but, En Sabah Nur claims the ashes evolved into a life of their own. What you’ve discovered there is huge!”

“That’s stupid.” Charles blurted out. “The man died. I killed him. My serum is dangerous! It’s not ready for being tested yet! I cannot let that happen again.”

Kurt’s fingers wrapped around Charles’ arm firmly. “You will do as I say, boy! You had years of education that _I_ paid for. You had 5 years to work on the serum. You don’t get to just back off now! Do as I say or I cut off her life support.”

“You wouldn’t--” 

“I would! You know I would.” Kurt hissed. “The only reason Raven's still in this room instead of left to die is because you work on that serum. The moment you stop, you both die.”

It was not a choice, really.

“What do you want me to do?” Charles sighed, feeling like a scumbag.

“Go back to the lab, work more on that serum and inject it into my son!”


	8. A Juggernaut

“Kurt, you do realize this could turn out just as badly as it did for Armando, right?” Charles warned again when they were at the lab. He still could not fathom why would Kurt subject his own son to a risky research. 

Cain frowned. “What happened to Armando?” he asked, uneasiness creeping into his voice. 

“He exploded.” Charles said pointedly. 

Kurt waved it off. “Armando was a weak guy. Cain is stronger in built. That’s what we need for the serum to work properly.” he said. He sounded so certain as if he actually knew what he was talking about. 

“No, actually there’s no such guarantee.” Charles remarked again, causing Cain to frown even more. Kurt to ignore it once again. 

“Go get ready, Charles.” his stepfather ordered. 

Charles took a few steps back. “I’ll go get my white coat then.” he said and left Cain and Kurt alone in the other corner of the lab. 

It was probably a good idea to give these two some privacy. Cain looked like he had a lot of questions. Apparently his father hadn’t thrown enough light on what was about to happen to his son. 

Charles was taking off his own coat and taking out his lab coat when his phone buzzed. It was a text from Erik. 

**I miss you. Are you alright? EL**

Charles felt a wave of warmth throughout his entire body. Erik was so sweet, so caring. It was amazing to know someone as special as that cared about you so much. Charles couldn’t help his lips curving up into something resembling a smile. He hadn’t truly smiled since the incident yesterday but that’s the effect Erik had on him. Erik was definitely the best thing in Charles’ miserable life.

**I’m alright. Just working. You? Miss you too! CX**

Charles texted back. 

**I see. I’m working too. Do you need me? EL**

**That’s so sweet! But I’ll be fine. I’ll call you when I’m done here. CX**

He hoped he could return to Erik’s embrace soon. He craved it so badly. But now he had work to do. He shoved the phone in his trouser pocket, put on his white lab coat and was as ready for what was about to come. Well, as ready as he could possibly be under the circumstances.  

“Father, I’m not sure about this…” Charles heard Cain Marko’s hushed words to his father. 

“Nonsense, boy. Just get in there and let Charles do his job.” Kurt’s voice boomed throughout the lab. It sent shivers down Charles’ spine. What kind of a father would test things on his own son? Charles was under no romantic illusions that Kurt cared about him as a stepfather but he still thought Kurt cared about his actual son. It appeared though that Cain was just a pawn in Kurt’s game, like all people were to that cold-hearted man. Or maybe that was the way Kurt Marko showed affection. 

Charles cleared his throat and started preparing his serum wordlessly. Warren was there too to help him. His customary calm presence grounding Charles more or less while he was working. 

“I heard En Sabah Nur will come to see the result.” Warren told Charles when they were nearly done. “Apparently he was upset the ashes disappeared last night.” 

Charles frowned. “Are you sure someone didn’t just-- clean them up?” He had to fight back the urge to throw up as he said the words. 

Warren shook his head. “No one enters the lab but you and me. After you left in such a hurry yesterday, I locked and followed you. I thought I’d collect the ashes for examination after I reach you but they were gone when I returned.” 

Charles was silent. 

“You sure you didn’t return to--?” Warren began. 

“I didn’t take the ashes, Warren. I’m sure of it. And no, I’d rather not be in this lab at all. If only I could…” Charles cut him off, blinking rapidly. 

Warren gave a silent nod. Charles sucked in a deep breath and tried to calm himself down again. He tried hard for emotional detachment. Emotional detachment was what Charles needed most of all at this moment. After all the mental exhaustion he went through these last days -- which was a bit more than his usual mental exhaustion -- emotional detachment sounded like the solution to keep himself together.

“He’s ready.” Warren pulled him out of his thoughts, glancing at the Markos. 

Charles looked too. Cain was sitting down at the very same table where Armando was sitting only a day ago. Charles approached, willing away the memories of the previous day. He had to be impartial here, keeping scientific emotional distance. Cain Marko, the boy who pushed his sister down the stairs without regret and got away with it; Cain Marko, the son of the man who made Charles’ life miserable and abused him mentally ever since Charles was a little kid; Cain Marko, the guy that mocked Charles constantly and pushed him around, using him as a stress relief punching bag. That Cain Marko was sitting in front of Charles now, ready to test a serum that could kill him. Charles was not the one to gloat. At this vital moment he realized he didn’t hate Cain anymore. In fact, he didn’t care about Cain at all. He wasn’t sure if the serum was safer now after revisiting it once again earlier this morning -- he was still not sure what caused the reaction in Armando’s case --  but he knew he did not want to kill Cain Marko. Despite everything Cain did to him. What Charles wanted most was for the serum to actually work so that he could help Raven. Everything else seemed petty and irrelevant to him now. 

“Don’t explode me, Charlie.” Cain said when Charles brought the syringe closer to his stepbrother’s arm. 

He swallowed and pressed the needle inside, emptying the content. Then he pulled it away and took a step back. 

They waited again. A bit like a deja vu. Kurt, Warren and Charles, all three staring at Cain who was lying still on the table, motionless right until his indicators went up. Charles paled. The machines detected the same reaction like they did with Armando. Charles was on the verge of panicking. 

“It’s happening again!” he cried at Warren and the two rushed to do the best they could to stabilize Cain. 

Kurt was pacing around nervously while Charles and Warren were concentrating on Cain. 

They were prepared this time -- medical equipment, medications and all -- but once again their efforts gave no fruit. Cain was shaking violently on the table, his eyes turning, his mouth hanging open in a grotesque expression. It was different than Armando’s though. There was no sign of Cain’s skin changing like it did with Muños. Instead of changing color, Cain grew in size. And it was not just a few inches, it was  _ a lot!  _ Charles and Warren’s eyes went wide as they witnessed a transformation unlike anything they’ve seen! Armando’s exploding could at least be explained in a strange and crazy way. One could find logic -- the serum caused internal combustion of some horrible sort. But here… a person growing like that, expanding to the size of a giant… It made no sense! Unless! Unless… 

“The serum’s working!” Kurt Marko cried out at his son, laughing loudly. “The serum’s working, my boy! Look at you!” 

Cain was larger than the table. His huge arms and legs sticking out of it. He finally stopped twisting and turning and opened his eyes properly again. 

“Cain? Can you hear us?” Charles asked carefully. 

Cain glanced at him then sat up on the metal table. He looked stern and… and huge! Charles swallowed nervously. At least he wasn’t dead! At least Charles didn’t kill anyone today with his science! Cain was definitely not dead and that was good! 

Cain placed his giant feet to the floor and the lab vibrated a little witch each thud. 

“Look… look at you…” Kurt Marko repeated, quieter this time. His face paled as he took a better look at his son, the smile slowly disappearing from his face as Cain stood before him in all his new grandeur. 

A giant of a man. A real juggernaut. 

“Cain?” Kurt Marko asked incredulously as his son came closer to him. 

“Father.” Cain said. 

Even his voice sounded different -- deeper, louder, rougher. 

“Cain…” Kurt frowned sadly at his son. 

“That your boy, Kurt?” 

The tall man that had just entered the lab startled everyone with his sudden presence. It was En Sabah Nur, Charles realized. 

Neither Kurt, nor Cain moved or indicated to have noticed Mr. Sabah Nur. 

“Well?” En Sabah Nur asked, approaching closer, eyeing Cain carefully and with interest. “Did the serum really work?” 

“It-- it--” Kurt stuttered. Charles had never before seen Kurt stuttering like that! 

Warren cleared his throat. “It appears so, sir.” he replied when Kurt clearly couldn’t. 

“Hmmm.” En Sabah Nur said thoughtfully with a small smile of his own. His eyes remained pierced on Cain. “Show me something, boy. Show me what you can do. Show me your power!” 

Cain inhaled deeply and walked to one corner of the lab. He looked again at Mr. Sabah Nur and after receiving a small encouraging nod from him, started trashing everything in his way. Expensive machines, tubes, walls, chairs and tables, fridges, Cain wrecked it all like a wild animal. 

Charles gaped and so did Warren. Kurt watched terrified as his son was destroying everything with such incredible ease as if making a giant hole in the wall with your hand was a child’s play. 

“Super strength.” En Sabah Nur muttered, pleased. 

“That’s not super, that’s… that’s just-- that’s--” Kurt stuttered once again. He was clearly getting upset. “I did not sign up for this, Sabah Nur! That’s not what I wanted my son to become!” 

“You, little man, you do not understand.” En Sabah Nur said, not even glancing at Kurt Marko. “He’s evolved now.” 

“That’s not evolution, that’s being a freak!” Kurt cried out, causing Cain to stop his demolition and look at his father, hurt. 

En Sabah Nur slowly turned his head, his piercing eyes now directed at Kurt. 

“What are you saying, Kurt?” 

“This serum is monstrous! Look what it did to my son! It turned him into a freak! A freak!”

En Sabah Nur took a step towards Kurt Marko, calmly gripping his friend’s face with one hand. “You’re not with me, therefore, you’re against me.” he said and in an instant he snapped Kurt’s neck. Kurt’s face twisted in an ugly grimace and he dropped down lifelessly on the floor of the lab. 

For a moment there was silence. The surprise was too big for anyone to react. Then Cain glared at En Sabah Nur. 

“You killed my father!” he groaned, eyes hot with rage. His fists clenched tightly and every muscle on his huge body tensed. “You killed my father!” he repeated and headed towards En Sabah Nur threateningly. The lab shook with each of his steps. 

“This doesn’t look good…” Warren muttered and for the first time since he started working for En Sabah Nur he showed how nervous he truly was. 


	9. A Fight

Mr. Sabah Nur did not seem worried at all, watching calmly as Cain approached him. Kurt Marko’s lifeless body was still lying on the floor. 

“This is going to be bad…” Warren whispered and Charles noticed how his right hand swiftly slipped towards the serum while his left grabbed a new syringe. 

“Warren…?” Charles looked at him concerned, not sure what the other man was about to do. 

“Shhh” Warren gave Charles a sign to keep quiet and retrieved the two objects, putting them safely inside the pocket of his lab coat. 

Charles had no time to think about it though because his attention was pulled back to Cain and his father’s murderer. 

“You killed my father!” Cain said for a third time and En Sabah Nur had to roll his eyes at the words. 

“Your father was ignorant.” Mr. Sabah Nur replied. “Unfortunately, he did not understand the new era that we just started. But you understand that, don’t you, Cain? You’re special. Look at yourself, you’re  _ so  _ special.” 

“My father said I was a freak…” 

“And that’s why your father had to die. He was wrong.” En Sabah Nur explained calmly. The ease in which he spoke of the man he’d just intently killed was unbelievable. “We are creating a new future!” he continued with pathos in his voice. “The world belongs to the strong, Cain. It shall belong to us!”

“This is insane! What are you planning to do with  _ my  _ serum!?” Charles was unable to keep quiet any longer. He took a step forward, clenching his fists. 

En Sabah Nur gave him a condescending glance. “This does not concern you, scientist. You did your part already.” 

“Oh, is that so?” Charles felt the adrenaline rushing through his veins. He really had enough of all this bullshit. “I think it concerns me alright. I think it concerns me a lot. Especially since  _ I  _ created this serum!” 

This finally got the tall man’s full attention. En Sabah Nur arched an eyebrow at Charles. “You did, yes. And I am glad you did. As a reward I will allow you to inject yourself with it too.” 

Charles furrowed his brow. His hands were still clenched in fists. “I don’t need the serum for that.” he admitted. “And I demand to know what you intend to do with it!”

Charles had always been so obsessed with perfecting the serum for Raven, to enhance her abilities to fight her coma, that he had completely neglected what En Sabah Nur or Kurt Marko would use it for. How could he have been as blind as to assume they were simply interested in the medical and scientific use of the serum. He could clearly see the CEO of Apocalypse Inc. was planning on using Charles’ serum as some kind of an insane weapon! 

“What are you planning on doing with my serum?” Charles demanded once again, firmly. 

A small smile played on En Sabah Nur’s face as he replied. “I plan to create a new, better world. With only a few chosen evolved people to inhabit it. Cain being the first one of this new better species. I shall be second very soon. You could join us too since you’ve created this serum.” 

“And what about everyone else on this planet? Do you plan to just wipe them out!?” Charles asked, shaking with rage. 

“They simply won’t survive this changed world. We are superior, stronger and more powerful. This world belongs to us! Isn’t that so, my boy?” he turned towards Cain again. For Charles’ great surprise Cain was actually listening to En Sabah Nur. 

““Do you even hear yourself!?” Charles gasped enraged, unable to hold it in anymore. “This is not a creation of a new species!  _ Cain  _ is not a new species, he’s still human! My serum unlocks hidden potential inside the human DNA, talents we had but never knew about, powers we could have but never developed. It’s supposed to open up our minds and give us opportunities to do things we never imagined we could. It does not create anything that isn’t already there, locked in our DNA, waiting to emerge. You’ve created nothing and you understand nothing! You want to destroy a world and bring about some kind of crazy apocalypse which only you and a selected few would survive. But this is not only insane and morally wrong, it’s also delusional and plain stupid! I am not taking any part in this! You can take this as my resignation. And without me you have no right to use my serum. That’s my message to you.” 

For a moment there was silence. Even Cain had stopped and stared at Charles with surprise. Charles himself was surprised by his own firm determination but he couldn’t really think about that now. He was too outraged by En Sabah Nur’s disastrous plans and stopping him. 

“You’re not a believer.” En Sabah Nur finally spoke again, the same calmness remained in his voice. “You’ll have to die too. Cain. Do what you do best. Demolish.” 

Cain’s gaze on Charles changed, hardened, as he stepped towards Charles. 

“My father died thinking I’m a freak because of you and your serum.” the juggernaut gritted his teeth at Charles. 

“It’s not my fault Kurt treated you like that. I didn’t even want to test the serum on humans in the first place.” 

“You made me like this!” 

“I didn’t made you, Cain. You’ve always been that way, it’s always been inside you.” 

“Less talking, more killing.” En Sabah Nur rolled his eyes, sounding exhausted. “We have the formula for the serum, we have Warren, we don’t need Xavier and his moral gibberish.” 

“Wrong!” Warren suddenly cried out, standing tall. “You don’t have Warren! You never did! I despise you, Apocalypse! The things you did… the things you made me do… You’re not worth being part of that grand design of yours. You’re not fit for this world!” 

As he spoke a pair of beautiful white wings spread proudly behind his back, making him look like some kind of angel of justice. He had injected himself with the serum and in all the commotion no one noticed his transformation until it was complete. 

Charles couldn’t tear his eyes off of Warren, overcome with pride that his serum was working, that it was not dangerous but simply a bit rough while taking effect. Could that mean that Armando was probably still alive too? Was it possible? 

“My child! You’ve joined us!” En Sabah Nur’s voice boomed through the lab. 

“I am not your child!” Warren said firmly as he charged towards En Sabah Nur -- or Apocalypse, as he called him -- with an incredible speed. 

Before Charles or Cain could do anything, the two were clasped together in a deadly embrace. Warren pushed En Sabah Nur towards the big window in the other end of the lab, breaking the glass and flying free out of it with En Sabah Nur in his arms. Charles and Cain rushed towards the window too only to see Warren fly proudly, still holding a very angry Apocalypse in his arms until… until he wasn’t holding him anymore. 

“This is what happens to villains who torture other people.” Warren said and opened his arms, letting En Sabah Nur fall down to his death. 

Charles gasped as he saw Apocalypse smashed on the pavement in front of his own building, attracting a bit wondering crowd of gawking bystanders. 

“Justice is finally done.” Warren said to himself and flew away. 

Charles stared unbelievingly at the broken window, the trashed lab, Kurt’s dead body and the stash of serum and syringes in the other corner. He was about to have another panic attack when he heard Cain’s voice again. 

“Your turn to die.” he said. 

“Seriously?” Charles laughed hysterically. “Your new boss is dead, in case you haven’t noticed. There’s no reason for you to kill me now.” 

“You still turned me into a freak!” 

“I’m not responsible for your poor self-esteem. Besides, Cain, I’m sorry to tell you this, but you were never a nice guy.” 

Cain cried out in anger and picked up the giant metal table where they had injected him with the serum with one hand as if it were a feather. Charles gasped and tried to take cover from what was about to come when his step-brother threw the large piece of metal at him. As it flew towards him all Charles could do was curl in a ball and wait to be crashed. He shut his eyes closed. He only had three regrets -- Raven, Erik and Armando: Raven -- the one he failed to save, Erik -- the one whose heart he’d break, and Armando -- the one he probably destroyed. 

The small moment felt like eternity but no impact followed. Charles opened one eye, puzzled, only to see the metal table floating over him but not falling down on him. 

“What…?” he straightened up again. 

His eyes remained on the table as he walked around it, trying to figure out how it levitated in the air on its own. 

“Cain, how did you…?” 

He trailed off. It was not Cain doing the table levitating, it was Erik! Erik was in the lab, his hands spread forward as if he was holding the huge metal object with the power of jazz hands. 

Charles’ eyes went wide in confusion and something akin to pride that Erik could do that. 

“Hello, Charles.” Erik said, greeting him with a nod. “You always said my timing was perfect. I guess it was about time I proved it.” 

Charles’ big blue eyes widened even more in surprise. “Erik, how are you doing this?” he asked as he took a step closer to his boyfriend. 

Erik waved his hand and the metal fell down on the floor. “Now is not the time!” he said and Charles realized Cain was about to attack them. 

“Behind me, Charles!” Erik gasped and prepared himself for a fight.

Erik and Juggernaut-- um, Cain -- Erik and Cain kept fighting. Erik was using his unique ability to make metal pieces fly around and direct them at Cain. 

Charles couldn’t deny to himself that he found it a bit arousing to see Erik so powerful and in control. This gift, or mutation -- Charles was pretty sure it was some kind of mutation -- was fascinating. It was insane that he was turned on by it even at a time like this -- it was the worst possible time, he realized that -- and yet here it was. Maybe the stress was finally catching up with him because Charles was gaping at Erik longingly even as Erik was beating the crap out of Cain.

“Get your formula, serum and everything you need from this lab. We have to get out of here.” Erik instructed as he wrapped the giant man with metal, then twisted it and melted it in such a way as to create shuckles that could actually hold that large juggernaut. It was impressive. 

“Don’t kill him!” Charles cried when he realized Erik’s hold on Cain was getting too tight. 

“I won’t.” Erik replied with a small smirk. “He’s a witness after all.” 

“A witness…” Charles repeated quietly. 

“Azazel!” Erik called out while Cain was still caught tightly in metal. 

A red-skin man appeared in front of them out of thin air. Charles was utterly confused now. Why were all these people with special powers suddenly popping up here!? Where did they even come from? Has Erik and his team been working on the same serum as Charles? 

“Azazel, take us out of here before it gets crowded with cops and journalists.” Erik told the red-skinned man. 

Charles clenched tightly the big bag he had filled with his serum, the formula and whatever other important papers he found. Azazel placed his hand on both Erik’s and Charles’ shoulders and puffed them out of the laboratory. 


	10. A Heartbreak

When Charles opened his eyes again he was almost stunned to find himself in another lab, larger than the one in Apocalypse Inc. and just as well equipped. 

“Did we just teleport!?” Charles exclaimed. He turned towards Erik with big round eyes and an excited smile on his face. “Erik! We just teleported, didn’t we?” 

Erik gave him a fond look. In fact his entire face looked fond but a bit tense at the same time so that took Charles aback a little. 

“Azazel.” Erik replied, pointing at the red-skinned man. “It was Azazel. That’s his special power.” 

“Remarkable!” 

“Thank you.” Azazel gave Charles a curt nod and glanced towards Erik again. 

“Yes, you may go, Azazel.” Erik said and the man left, through the door this time. 

“How is that even... “ Charles laughed. The stress and excitement of these last days were taking a toll on him and he felt like he lost all control over his emotions. “Were we both working on the same formula? Did you manage to create my serum before me? Well… it’d be your serum then, I guess. I wish I’d known! We could’ve worked on it together!” 

Erik maintained a stone-faced expression while Charles was getting more and more enthusiastic about the idea of working with Erik. 

“It’s  _ your  _ formula, Charles. And  _ your  _ serum.” Erik cut him off and then sucked in a deep breath. “Here comes the hard part.” 

Charles’ smile froze a bit awkwardly on his face. “What hard part? Erik, what’s wrong?” 

He reached out for Erik to comfort the man but Erik pulled away almost instantly. “Don’t, Charles. Please… just don’t.” he said, voice charged with energy Charles could not understand. “Let me speak first. Charles, I-- I betrayed you.” 

Charles chuckled. “Are you joking? You just saved me! You burst in there and saved me like some kind of a superhero! And your mutation… -- is it okay if I call it a mutation? Because I think that’s the hidden potential the serum unlocks. -- your mutation was… wow!” Charles flushed bright red. Darn it even now he was so turned on at the memory of Erik wielding his metal powers the way he did in that lab. What was wrong with Charles!? 

Erik licked his lower lip in a very distracting way, even though he probably didn’t mean for it to be so distracting for Charles. But when Charles looked away from Erik’s lips and actually saw the man’s face he realized Erik appeared… guilty. 

“Erik?” Charles tilted his head tentatively. Hoping to encourage Erik, he said: “Erik, you were so brave and amazing and I’m so grateful to you for--” 

Erik stopped him. “Don’t thank me, Charles. For what I did back in Sabah Nur’s lab… don’t thank me. Don’t praise me. I’m no hero. Far from it really… Charles, I-- My team and I we’re…” he sucked in a deep breath, running his fingers through his hair. 

“Erik, you can tell me. I get it. It’s a remarkable coincidence! You were working on the same research as me and I’m amazed at your progress and how you and your team have all mastered it so quickly. I must say I am a bit disappointed I didn’t know about it earlier so that I could participate but it’s a delicate research so I understand why you never told me. You couldn’t share much about it and--”

“I stole it from you, Charles.” Erik blurted out, unable to listen to Charles’ naive words any longer. 

Charles’ face fell. “You what?” 

“My team and I, we broke into the Apocalypse Inc. lab and stole your research.” 

“I don’t understand.” Charles took a step back. “Why would you do that?” 

Suddenly so many questions popped into Charles’ head. Questions he had ignored earlier in the heat of the moment. Questions like: how did Erik know Charles was in danger, or how did Erik even know where to find Charles’ lab, and how did Erik even know about the serum. Those were just on the top of Charles’ head now. 

“Erik, you need to explain this to me. All of it.” Charles said firmly. 

“Yes. Yes I do.” Erik agreed with a nod and a guilty frown on his otherwise beautiful face. “You may want to sit down.” 

Charles did and so did Erik. The distance between them felt too great for Charles’ liking, after all day of longing to melt in Erik’s embrace, but it was necessary at the moment. Charles needed to know the truth already. 

Erik began his story. “En Sabah Nur and I… we have a history together that goes way back. I was just a boy when I first met him. He had a great impact upon my life and me as a person. It wasn’t a positive influence, I’m afraid. He basically screwed me over for his own purposes and I, in my confusion and stupidity, trusted him. I’ve always been a sucker for science. I graduated early and everything. My parents, while they were still alive, were really proud of me. But when they died I-- it changed me. As one might expect. I was going downhill when I met En Sabah Nur and he told me there was a place for me after all. At the time he was working on a formula for creating artificial mutations. He offered me to work for him. A real science lab for a teenage boy that had nothing left to lose. He promised me a heaven and I followed. I enlisted in his program and started working on his research, trying to discover a way to trigger mutations, or superpowers as he liked to call them, to emerge. Things other scientists would deep crazy! But I believed the man was a visionary and I wanted to figure out a way to create these superhumans En Sabah Nur wanted so much.” he paused, brow furrowed. “Because I wanted to please him.” it was not an easy confession. “And because he made me feel powerful. And to the scared young man I was back then that was exactly what I needed. He wanted superhumans and I did my best to find a way to give them to him. Superhumans!” Erik chuckled bitterly, shaking his head. “That’s what he’s been interested in since what feels like the dawn of time! The man has a lot of issues but he was quite charismatic at the time and to a deluded teenage boy he seemed so--” Erik bit his lip, looking down. “I’m not proud of this, Charles, you must understand that. When I realized what he was using me for, what he wanted to do to the world with the project _ I _ was working on I panicked. I wanted out that very moment. But as you know it’s not that easy to leave En Sabah Nur alive… It took me years but finally I managed to escape. I changed my name, laid low for a while and then like a Count of Monte Cristo of sorts I returned. My birth name was actually Max Eisenhardt. I never told anyone that… After I got away I started a new life, created this company and now I’m one of the CEO’s here. But I couldn’t quite let go of the past, not completely. I was keeping a close eye on En Sabah Nur and his activities. So when my men told me he was conducting another secret research I wanted-- no, I  _ needed _ to know more. I had an inkling that it had something to do with his old program but I had to be sure. I had to know what he was up to. And I had to stop him.” 

Charles was listening to him silently. So far his face showed nothing but compassion for Erik’s struggles. But Erik knew the worse was yet to come. 

“I got obsessed over these last 5 years. Apocalypse-- I keep calling him that because it just suits him!” Charles remembered Warren used to call him that too and nodded. “-- so, Apocalypse was really good at keeping his secrets from outsiders. That’s what I was now. And I couldn’t let him know who I really was. Warren, he-- he helped. We were in Apocalypse’ program together, you see. He remained in it even though he hated it. He was younger than me, more afraid. But when he recognized me at one dinner do he discretely let me know that Apocalypse was at it again. And he told me this time it was only one man who was working on the research other than Warren himself. A young genius, he said. That’s how I finally knew…” 

Charles paled. 

“Erik...” Charles looked at him with watery eyes. “Did you know who I was when we first met in the park?” 

Erik was silent, deadly serious and guilty-looking. 

Charles gasped. “Tell me.” he insisted. 

“Does it make a difference, Charles?” Erik said passionately. “I really do care about you! That’s all that matters!” 

“Answer me. I want to hear it. Did you know who I was back then?” 

After a moment of hesitation Erik gave a sharp affirmative nod. 

Charles let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “So you knew all along. You came to me because you were hoping to get inside information. Is that it?”

“It started that way… but that’s not why I stayed with you!” 

“Did you research me beforehand?” Charles persisted. 

“Charles…” 

“You did.” 

“That was only in the beginning! Everything else was real!” 

Charles shook his head. He had no idea what his face was doing. He gave up trying to control it. “You used me… all this time... I thought you were the one real and good thing in my life, the one thing that was just mine -- not Sabah Nur’s, not Kurt’s, not about the research… It was real and beautiful and just  _ mine.  _ And all this time everything was a lie.” 

“It was not a lie! Not after I got to know you!” 

“Please! You don’t have to pretend anymore, Erik.” He laughed bitterly. It sounded ugly. “The irony is that had you just asked me I would’ve helped you. I would’ve done anything for you.” 

“Charles… I couldn’t risk…” 

“You stole Armando’s ashes, didn’t you.” Charles cut him off. It wasn’t a question. “For the research. To beat Apocalypse. You stole my work, you stole my-- you stole my heart,” his voice cracked, “and now you’re just--” he bit his lip, hard. “I must admit you did a great job. You fooled me. But then again, that wasn’t that difficult, was it.” Not giving Erik a chance to say anything, Charles continued, the same bitterness accompanying his every word. “Oh, and great job breaking into the lab. It’s an unbreakable lab and to this moment no one could figure out where Armando’s ashes went.” 

“Azazel has always been really good at getting inside places quickly and without a trace.” Erik muttered dumbly. “Frankly, I’m not surprised his hidden talent turned out to be teleportation when we injected him with your serum.” 

“Well, I’m impressed.” Charles said sarcastically. “You did inject yourself too, I see. Your… mutation... ” he continued in the same tone of voice. 

“I did yes…” 

“Weren’t even afraid you might follow Armando’s fate?”

“Armando’s fate? Charles, I don’t know what they told you but Armando’s very much alive.” Erik probably saw the look on Charles’s face because he continued reassuring him. “When you came to my place that night you were so upset and you mentioned someone got hurt so I sent Azazel to your lab to check it out and… Azazel found Armando. We thought he was dead too but when we brought him back to our lab it turned out that was just his initial reaction to the serum. His mutation is to adapt. The intensity of the process of transformation triggered his hidden potential and he adapted by turning into ash.” 

“But he’s alive? Is he still-- ash?” Charles asked a little doubtful of this whole explanation. 

“He’s not ash, Charles. He’s himself again. A better version of himself, a stronger version.” 

“You sound like Apocalypse now.” 

“I’m sorry. For what happened, I truly am. I never meant to hurt you.” 

“You took advantage. You knew my history and you took advantage. Of my vulnerability, of my anxiety, of my depression, of my low self-esteem, you took advantage of all my weaknesses. Then you built me up only to crash me again. You lied, Erik. And you used me. I can’t-- I can’t look at you right now. Or ever.” 

“Charles, please. I really do care about you!” 

“I want to see Armando. And then I want to leave.” Charles said firmly, determined not to look at Erik. “Is Armando still here?” 

After a short silence Erik nodded. “Armando’s here, yes. He works for me now.” 

“Of course he does. Everybody do, don’t they?” 

“Please, Charles. I know I hurt you badly but I never meant to. I truly love you.” 

This time Charles looked him in the eyes. Those blue carbuncles of his were so sad and exhausted. “Well,” he said with a sigh, “I don’t truly trust you anymore. So I’m sorry but I don’t believe that. I don’t think you love me. Not even a little bit. And that's fine. Now, take me to Armando, please.” 

It was true that Charles broke his shackles that day --  standing up to En Sabah Nur, facing so many of his fears. In a way he was reborn today. But a part of him still died with Erik’s betrayal. Charles always thought Erik was too good to be true, that their relationship was like a beautiful dream. It was time to wake up and accept that this love was nothing but a fickle fantasy, an illusion created by Charles’ imagination.


	11. Awakening

Seeing Armando Muños alive and well again was like having his hope return back to him. It was the only thing that went right in Charles’ life. He couldn’t help the tears in his eyes when he pulled the man into a tight hug. He almost greeted Armando with ‘I’m so glad I did not explode you!’ but he managed to restrain himself from that. 

Armando seemed surprisingly cool about the strange things that were happening to his body. He still needed to learn to control his newly awakened abilities so he was basically transforming all the time, going from gas to hard as a rock to liquid and then ashes again, growing fins for no reason or feathers out of the blue. It was all a very incredible but also fascinating mutation. Charles had already established for himself that the locked potential of the DNA that his serum was awakening were in fact mutations and apparently control over these mutations was something each individual had to learn on their own and in their own time. With Azazel control happened rather quickly but as Charles later found out from Armando, Azazel had practiced almost non stop. Charles deliberately avoided to wonder how fine Erik’s control over his mutation was. Charles basically tried not to remind himself of Erik at all. He looked around, a little self-conscious of Erik’s presence but luckily for him Erik had discretely distanced himself, giving Charles the space he needed without getting in his hair. 

Charles remained in Erik’s lab a while longer than he expected. Armando was eager to show him his new cool mutation and Charles was curious to see the outcomes of his serum. He also checked the test results of Erik’s team of scientists and met with a very prominent young scientist named Hank McCoy. Hank was working for Erik and researching Charles’ serum for the last two days. The two compared notes and Charles was pleased to find a like-minded man in the face of this Hank McCoy. It helped Charles to take his mind off of-- well, apparently it didn’t help  _ that  _ well. Charles still felt that constant ache in his chest -- a reminder that he had just lost the one he thought was the love of his life. Although come to think of it did he ever even had Erik at all if Erik never truly cared about him? 

Hank mentioned he wanted to use the serum on himself as well so Charles was pulled out of his own destructive thoughts before they could crash him completely all over again. 

Meanwhile the strange happenings in the Apocalypse Inc. lab were all over the news, together with interviews of witnesses who saw Mr. En Sabah Nur smash his head on the pavement in front of his company’s building. Everyone assumed En Sabah Nur had murdered Kurt Marko -- as proven by his fingerprints all over Kurt Marko’s neck -- and then had killed himself by jumping out of the lab window. No trace of Charles’ research was discovered, no Juggernaut in the lab either, which made Charles think that Azazel probably returned to clean up after dropping Charles and Erik in Erik’s lab. 

Charles was fine with this turn of events. He wanted to spend as little time as possible on Kurt, Cain, Apocalypse and everything they represented for him. He had other more important things to attend to now. It was time Charles did what he was working all these years for. Waking Raven. 

He said goodbye to Armando and Hank and went back to get his bag of serum when he found himself face to face with Erik. 

“Oh.” He froze, not sure if he could talk to the man again. He bit lis lip awkwardly and threw the bag over his shoulder. “I was just leaving.” he announced, hoping that would be it. 

But it was not. 

Erik reached out for him again, the tips of his long elegant fingers brushing against Charles’ hand a little unsure but so much  _ there _ . Charles’ chubby fingers were clutching the bag desperately, trying to remain calm. 

“Can I see you again? Can we talk some more? I--” Erik looked pained.

Charles didn’t want to look into those eyes and fall right back into their trap. 

“I want to make this work. I want you in my life, Charles.” the taller man said. 

It sounded so sincere but Charles knew it wasn’t. It couldn't be. It must’ve been a pretence. Charles wasn’t sure why would Erik say that but it was obviously a lie. There must have been some other reason for him to want Charles close. Maybe property rights on Charles’ research or something practical like that which Charles and his damn romantic nature had completely forgotten about. Charles was very confused right now but one thing was clear to him -- when he looked at Erik, no matter how much it broke his heart, he could not find it in himself trust that man again. He did not believe a word Erik was saying. And that was sad. 

“I can’t do this, Erik. You’re just hurting me more. I need to go.” he finally said, almost pleaded. “Please, let me go.” 

He shut his eyes closed, preparing himself for more drama. Erik was probably not going to let him leave, he was probably not going to let go until Charles was completely broken. But when nothing came Charles opened his eyes to find Erik was already gone. 

There was this strong empty feeling invading Charles’ chest. He got what he wanted -- Erik left him alone, Erik let him go -- but it also made him feel alone and cold on the inside. He tried to shake it off and decisively walked out of the lab. 

~*~ 

Raven opened her eyes. She looked weak and dizzy, not sure where she was exactly but she opened her eyes nevertheless. The first thing she saw after the white hospital ceiling was a 20-something year old man with blue eyes, messy brown hair, cherry lips and a bit too large nose. He was smiling at her as tears were falling down his cheeks. She frowned. She did not know that man. Something about him felt familiar but the face was all wrong. She closed her eyes again, too tired to figure it out right now. 

The second time Raven opened her eyes she was still in the same hospital room and the same man was standing by her side, holding her hand tightly and pressing kisses to it every now and then. Raven instinctively pulled away her hand from the stranger but her movements were too weak and the effort was fruitless. When her hand remained in the man’s hand she felt very uneasy. The last thing she remembered was Cain pushing her down the stairs when she screamed at him to stop touching her. Having another older guy touching her -- even this platonic handholding -- was very unnerving. She frowned even more, trying to speak. 

“Get out.” she muttered. Even her own voice sounded different. It was probably because of her throbbing headache. “Get out, I want Charles. Get me Charles.” 

“I  _ am  _ Charles, dear!” the older guy said, pressing her hand to his chest, where his heart was. 

“No. I want  _ my  _ Charles!” she insisted. “Call  _ my  _ Charles! I need to-- I need to see him…” her eyes were closing on their own once again. Why was she so sleepy and dizzy? 

“Raven, dearest, this may be a bit of a surprise to you but I really  _ am  _ Charles.” the older guy with the messy hair insisted once again. “I understand you might be a bit confused--” 

“A  _ bit  _ confused!? You’re not Charles! You’re at least 10 years older than him!” 

The cherry-lipped guy remained very still and very silent. His blue eyes were fixed on her but he was unable to say anything. Raven looked at him, properly this time. The shade of his hair color, the paleness of his skin, the freckles on his large nose, those cherry lips… but most of all, these two blue carbuncles of eyes of his. Charles had the same eyes. 

Was this a joke? Was this older guy really her big brother? How was that even possible? Why was he older? Why did he look at her like this? Why-- what-- when-- All the questions were mixed up in her head and she wasn’t even sure what to ask.  

“I guess now’s the time to explain…” the guy -- she refused to accept him as Charles yet -- said. 

“You think?” Raven gasped sarcastically. 

He stifled a chuckle -- what did he find so funny? Raven was furious. 

“I don’t know if you remember but Cain pushed you down the stairs--” 

“I remember that! He was being a jerk and I told him if he lays a finger on me again, I’ll cut his head off. He then pushed me…” 

“-- you were very ill. In fact you were in a coma all this time.” 

Here came the hard part. The guy that claimed to be Charles seemed to be giving her time to process. 

Raven felt her heart beating faster as she finally gathered the courage to ask. 

“How long was I in a coma?” 

The ‘Charles’ guy looked deadly serious. 

“Cain pushed you down the stairs 13 years, 3 months and 2 days ago.” 

~*~

She’s been in a coma for the last 13 years. 13 years. That’s why Charles looked so… A nervous feeling in her stomach reminded her that time did not stop just because she was in a coma. It did not stop for Charles and it had not stopped for her. She wanted to see herself in a mirror. She needed to know what she looked like now when she was suddenly 13 years older. She still felt like a 12 year old. But she probably didn’t look like it. 

She did not wonder why there were no doctors around, why it was only Charles. Why a coma patient woke up after 13 years of slumber and not a single person from the medical staff of the hospital appeared to check up on them or run tests or anything medical people were usually supposed to do. She just wanted to see herself but Charles was too hesitant to show her her reflection. It almost lead to an argument. 

“I just don’t want you to be too shocked.” he tried to explain. 

“I’m already too shocked! I slept for 13 years! Of course I’m too shocked! But I need to see.” 

She missed so much of her life. Her last memory was as a 12 year old girl and now she woke up as a 25 year old. This was huge! 

“Just give me the mirror, Charles!” she insisted. 

“Raven, I did something to you!” Charles finally blurted out. “You weren’t waking up, I didn’t know what to do… I needed you, Raven. So I created this serum for you. To wake you up. And now you’re a-- a new you.” 

“I’m old, you mean.” She frowned.

“Not exactly what I mean…” he muttered, slowly lifting up the mirror for her. Raven had closed her eyes, waiting with anticipation to see herself. “You’re a mutant, Raven. You have developed a new hidden talent.” 

When she opened them again, she screamed. 

“I’m blue!” 

“I know…” 

“No, Charles, I'm actually blue! And my-- my eyes!” she was hyperventilating now. Her hands went up to touch her face as she stared at the reflection in the mirror, unable to recognize the person who was staring her back from it. Surprisingly her hands weren’t blue. She was only partly blue -- her face and neck were covered in dark blue scales but her hands had normal skin from her elbows down. “Charles, what’s wrong with me?” she gasped. 

“Nothing’s wrong with you! You’re perfect!” Charles reassured pleadingly, putting the mirror away. He spoke to her in that comforting tone of voice people used on children. It only enraged her more. She was not a child anymore! At least she wasn’t supposed to be. She didn’t look like one anymore and oh, she was  _ blue!  _

It took a lot of effort from Charles to calm her down and to explain what his serum was actually doing, what a mutation was and how it made her special. How it had always been in her DNA and the serum had helped it emerge, just as it had helped her wake up. 

Charles was grateful, so grateful and happy that she was awake now. Even if she was angry at him, even if she woke up only to hate and shout at him, he was still so very grateful and happy she was back! 

He was crying. Curled up on himself and helpless. She realized how hard it must’ve been for him to look at her sleeping her life away in that coma. After a moment of silence Charles felt a couple of blue arms wrapping around him, embracing him into a warm hug, lips pressing a kiss to his messy hair. 

“Hey, blue or not, it’s better than sleeping 24/7.” Raven said softly. 

He lifted his gaze, his eyes looking at her with so much hope. She smiled at him. 

“Thank you, Charles.” 

“Thank you, Raven!” he gasped and she hugged him tighter. 

~*~

They remained cuddled on Raven’s hospital bed, catching up. Charles gave her the brief version of what he’s been doing with his life while she was sleeping.

“Your life’s sounds more boring than mine and I spent the last 13 years  _ in a coma!”  _ she teased. 

Charles rolled his eyes but couldn’t hide his amusement or his grin from her. He was happy to have his sister back. She could make all the fun of him she wanted and he would still grin that stupidly happy grin at her. Because he missed her so much and he was so glad to finally have her back!

“I’m really glad you woke me up and everything.” she finally said. “But I just wish-- I wish I hadn’t missed all this time, y’know. I wish I was me again--” 

“You  _ are  _ you.” Charles reminded her. 

She sighed. “I don’t feel like me…” she confessed. “I get it. I need time to get used to the-- the changes. My age and my-- my appearance… I need more time.” 

“You can have all the time you need, Raven.” he promised. “And you have me by your side. I’m always here for you.” 

She smiled, taking his hand in hers. “I know. I just wish I could look like my old self again…” 

Just as she said it her scales did a strange thing and she shrank into the form of her 12-year old self. No trace of blue or scales or anything. She was the blonde blue-eyed girl she was back then. 

Charles gasped and quickly grabbed the mirror to show her the transformation. Raven was just as surprised as he was. 

“Maybe your mutation can do more than we initially thought!” Charles said excitedly. “Try doing what you did again! Check if you can look like, I don’t know, me?” 

She concentrated and tried to repeat whatever she did a moment ago. It worked and in less than a second she transformed into Charles. Every single detail was accurately copied and represented! It was amazing! She even sounded like him!

She laughed amused and clapped her hands. “I can be whoever I want!” 

“It appears so! Raven, your abilities are remarkable! I always knew you were remarkable!” 

A tear slid down Charles’ cheek. Raven was awake. Raven was smiling. Raven was happy. His hard work finally paid off.


	12. Starry Night

When Erik first saw Charles’ face on that file the private investigator gave him he knew meeting the young scientist in person was going to be interesting. He just didn’t expect how interesting it would eventually become.

The initial plan was to get to Charles, to bribe him and to absorb all the needed information concerning En Sabah Nur. No sweat spilled, no blood spilled.

But the moment Erik set eyes on Charles, he realized he’d need a different approach if he wanted to get to the core of the issue. Charles was not the bribing type. Erik had to either befriend him or kidnap him. Since kidnapping was by far easier for Erik, he still wasn’t sure why, the hell, he decided to go with the first option.

At first Charles seemed reluctant to talk to Erik, let alone to open up to him. He gave the impression of a distant and nervous little guy. Erik found it amusing. Until Charles’ true personality began to seep through. Their conversations showed him that there was much more to Charles than Erik thought.

Of course he knew Charles’ backstory. He knew exactly why Charles was working for En Sabah Nur. In his heart of hearts, Erik had to admit that he did not believe that Charles would succeed in helping his sister. Even if the serum did eventually work, Erik doubted it would be able to wake up a coma patient who spent the last 13 years of her life sleeping. It sounded too incredible! So each time he saw the hidden sadness in Charles’ blue eyes he felt a pang of sadness himself. Because he knew how hurt and disappointed Charles would be the day his serum fails to achieve his true purpose and Charles loses his hope.

Backstories and sadness aside, Charles was a very interesting person to talk to, funny too when one got to know him better. Once Erik went past Charles’ initial defenses -- and there were _a_ _lot_ of those! -- he found himself entranced by this remarkable young man. He began noticing things about Charles, little things that felt so big. The way Charles blushed slightly when Erik grinned at him. The way Charles frowned a little whenever he was lost in thoughts. The way Charles laughed like it came straight from his heart. The way he licked his lips out of habit. The way he spoke out his mind and defended his points of view with soft persistence. And many more.

Erik fell hard. Erik felt so hard he had no time to prepare himself for it. Slowly but surely Charles was becoming a vital part of Erik’s life. Seeing Charles, talking to him in one form or another, being close to Charles were the joys of Erik’s days. Very soon it was not about getting information anymore; tt was about Charles and spending more time with him.

Of course, he realized he couldn’t keep his secret from Charles forever. At one point Charles was bound to find out how it all started. Erik himself had no intention of hiding it from Charles. But he still hoped Charles with his natural empathy would understand Erik’s motives and forgive him. He did not think that by lying to the man he would not only need Charles’ forgiveness, but also to regain Charles’ trust.

It’s been two months now. Two months since he last saw Charles. Since Charles said he didn’t want to see Erik again. Erik was trying desperately to continue his life as he normally would but that proved to be a very difficult task. Everything reminded him of Charles and even when he was doing his best to take his mind off of it, his heart kept aching and all he could see when he closed his eyes was Charles’ face. It felt as if there was this Charles-shaped hole inside gaping inside his chest and bleeding constantly. He tried to ignore it. It did not work.

He’s been an idiot, he knew that. Of course, he had a reason for his actions, a very good reason too, he thought, he couldn’t just let En Sabah Nur ruin the world and so many lives the way he ruined Erik’s, but that did not excuse Erik’s behavior towards Charles. He deserved Charles’ contempt. What he hated most though was that Charles was not just angry, Charles was also hurt. That part was hardest to bear. Erik never wanted to hurt his beloved Charles.

He was following the events and news concerning the Xavier family closely. The miracle of Charles’ sister waking up from her coma (so Erik was wrong about that too). Charles regaining his family fortune after Kurt Marko’s death. Charles starting a Research Institute of his own. These news did not give him any actual information on Charles’ well-being though. They were official information, the face Charles showed the rest of the world. It wasn’t the real Charles and that’s who Erik wanted. That’s who Erik lost… He could hire another private investigator to dig up more information, sure, but he felt like this would be wrong. He didn’t want to violate Charles again.

However he met with Warren one time. More like, Warren found him and popped by when Erik leased expected. They talked and Erik couldn’t help wondering if the man had spoken to Charles as well.

“So what are you planning on doing now?” Erik asked. “You know you’re always welcome to stay with me and my team--”

“I know.” Warren nodded with an appreciative smile. “And maybe I’d like to do that later if the offer still stands? But right now I just need the time off. Time to myself. To think things through.”

Erik nodded. He completely understood.

“The offer definitely stays whenever you chose to take it.” he replied, shaking Warren’s hand. And when he couldn’t restrain himself any longer he asked, “Um… any chance you met with Charles too before coming here?”

Warren gave him a look but did not remark on it. “I did.”

“Ah.”

Erik had lots of questions but he had no idea how to ask any of them. So he remained there silent at Warren’s mercy.

“His sister is awake.” Warren finally got the hint or took pity on Erik’s desperation.

“Yes, I heard about that. A real miracle. He must be so happy about it. I’m glad he succeeded.” Erik said.

“Yeah, well, she’s a mutant now. They don’t talk about that on the news.” Warren chuckled. “I guess he really did woke her up from the coma with the serum.”

“That’s why he was working on the serum in the first place.”

“Oh! Well, that makes sense now. I always wondered why would a guy like Charles work for En Sabah Nur. It sort of didn’t fit.”

The two talked a bit more and then Warren left for an unidentified period of time. Erik felt like with Warren leaving the last connection he had to Charles had just been severed.

No distractions helped so eventually he started avoiding everything and everyone. He no longer cared about stuff. Finally it was too much. Too painful to live without Charles in his life. Erik hadn’t been in their park since their breakup. He went there tonight. He needed to clear his mind, needed at least this vague illusion of having Charles by his side. Even if it was only to say goodbye.

It was past 9pm when he reached the park. He did not jog, just sat down by their tree, staring at his hands on the ground, leading an imaginary conversation with Charles in his head. He had no idea how long he remained there, eyes closed and looking miserable, but at one point he felt a warm palm on his hand. It startled him, he had thought he’d been alone in this side of the park at this time. He looked up.

“Hello, Erik.” Charles was smiling at him. A warm, affectionate smile that Erik definitely did not deserve. His eyes went wide, he was probably imagining it! He’s finally gone mad.

“Don’t be silly, it’s really me.” Charles rolled his eyes. “I saw you here and I thought I’d say hi.”

“Hi.” Erik mumbled dumbly. He was still too confused to be coherent.

"So... what you doing here?”

“Jogging.”

Charles chuckled. “In your coat?”

Erik allowed himself a soft melancholy smile. “I’m still new at it.”

The reenactment of their first meeting did not make Erik feel any better. He had after all lied Charles for the first time that day. Charles didn’t seem bothered by it. He remained seated down next to him, on the ground, by their tree.

“It’s a nice evening, isn’t it?” Charles said, removing his hand from Erik’s and looking up at the tree tops and the sky. Erik looked up too. It was a starry night and it looked beautiful. For some reason he hadn’t noticed that beauty before Charles’ arrival.

“Yes.” Erik nodded. “It is.”

He stole a sheepish glance at Charles. Yes, it really was Charles. It still felt too incredible to be real. He wished he could reach out and touch to make sure his Charles was really there. To run his shaky fingers through Charles’ hair just to check if it wasn’t a figment of his imagination.

Charles turned his head towards Erik, giving him a very amused look. “How've you been doing?”

Erik sucked in a long breath. “Fine. I’ve been doing fine. Just same old. Working. Being on top of all research and… stuff.”

For some reason he didn’t want Charles to know how broken he was, how broken he’s always been. When he looked at Charles he did not seem convinced so Erik decided to quickly change the subject.

“I heard about your sister.” he said awkwardly. “ I’m glad she’s awake.”

“Yes, I’m glad too.” Charles nodded, a hint of a smile playing on his cherry lips, as if he was thinking about a private joke Erik was unaware of.

“How is she coping? Waking up out of the coma after all these years? And then of course, the serum.”

He wasn’t sure if it was safe to ask Charles about the serum’s effect on Raven. The Xavier siblings did not seem to be very public about her mutation. Warren had told Erik in secret so maybe Erik should just pretend he didn’t know?

“She’s doing good.” Charles pulled him out of his thoughts. “She’s really comfortable in her own skin, so to speak.”

Erik was glad Charles was not the nervous wreck he was when Erik first met him. Charles seemed composed and at peace with himself. That’s more than Erik could ever hope for for his dear Charles. Of course, now that Charles was the calm one Erik felt like a nervous wreck himself. Not sure what Charles was thinking made him feel uneasy.

“She’s a mutant, you know.” Charles continued.

“Oh.” Erik attempted to act surprised.

“No need to ooh and ah. You _know._ ”

“Well… yes.” Erik admitted.

Another chuckle from Charles. Apparently Warren had a permission to tell Erik about Raven? Was that it? Did that even matter?

“It was difficult at first. Confusing.” Charles said, his face more serious now. “But eventually she discovered that her mutation was presenting her with lots of new possibilities. So she seems to be fine with it and willing to make up for all the lost time.”

“What kind of powers does she have exactly?” Erik regretted asking the question the moment the words were out of his mouth. Charles had no reasons to trust Erik with such information.

“Shapeshifting.” Charles replied, surprising Erik even more.

“That is an impressive mutation.” Erik said, truly meaning it.

“Yes, it is. She’s still getting the hang of it although she’s pretty good.” Charles explained further on. “Oh, and Hank helps a lot too. He wants to conduct a research on Raven’s genes.”

“He never mentioned that to me.” Erik definitely did not pout.

“He’s keeping it quiet for Raven’s sake. She asked him.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Mhm. I think he also has a bit of a crush on her, so.”

“That explains it even more.” Erik grinned.

Charles nodded with a spark of genuine laughter and Erik was brought back to a happier time when he used to be the cause of this kind of laughter. It was selfish to miss that now though so he mentally scolded himself for it. Charles deserved to be happy -- with or without Erik. Erik should probably get out of Charles’ life for good.

The laughter died down, replaced by a small and a little melancholy smile.

Erik cleared his throat. “It’s good she found a way to move on from what happened to her.” _I never could. I never moved on from you! I doubt I ever will! You made me so happy, Charles. I’m so sorry! Fuck! I miss you so much!_ “And good for you too, for finally getting her back. You made it possible!”

“Yes, I’m very pleased.” Charles replied. He was grinning now. It was strange.

Erik wanted for Charles to move on from him, to let go of the pain Erik caused him, but it was a bit too much for Charles to flaunt how happy he was in front of Erik like that. Erik was miserable! He internally scolded himself for the selfish thoughts, again, and tried to ignore the strange gleam in Charles’ beautiful blue eyes.

“I just came here for the fresh air.” Erik said, not knowing why exactly. It’s not like Charles _cared_ but Erik felt obligated to explain his presence in their park. “I don’t usually come here after…”

“It’s a public park, Erik. You’re allowed to be here.”

Erik nodded dumbly. “Of course.” _But it used to be_ **_our_ ** _park…_

Charles looked away and suddenly got up from the ground. He walked ahead -- heading for their usual morning jog road, Erik realized -- when he glanced back at Erik expectantly as if wondering why he hasn’t joined him. Erik finally got the hint and stumbled past his initial surprise in order to follow Charles.

“So do you still come here often?” Charles asked casually as they walked side by side.  

_No. I was afraid I’d run into you and cause you more pain. Also it was too hurtful. Too many memories…_

“When I have time.” he replied out loud.

Charles hummed with a nod. “I see.” he said.

“You?” Erik asked, just to keep the conversation going. He wasn’t sure what Charles wanted from their conversation exactly so he was kind of walking on eggshells.  

“Oh, I’ve been mostly busy with Raven, making up for all the lost time. Also working on my Research Institute.”

“I’ve heard about the Institute.” Erik interjected. “Well done about that. You’re a good competition, Xavier.”

Charles chuckled again. He was doing that a lot tonight. Erik wondered why. What could he possibly find so amusing?

Charles lifted his gaze towards Erik again and Erik’s heart skipped a beat. _He’s so beautiful!_

“I’m glad you think so.” Charles said with a soft smile.

Erik snapped out of it. “What?”

“That I’m a good competition.” Charles reminded.

“Ah, yes. Of course.” Erik mumbled again and looked down at his feet.

“You’ve probably heard I got the Xavier fortune back now, too.” Charles continued. “Since Kurt is dead and Cain is-- missing somewhere.”

“Yes. Even if Cain was around, it’s still your inheritance, not his.” Erik said with more conviction than he expected to show. “Cain’s fine, by the way. Azazel keeps him in a special lab. With his consent, too. Cain wants an antidote for his mutation. I doubt it’ll happen, once he’s reached his full potential but he just won’t let it go.”

“It’s sad he won’t accept himself.” Charles said, truly meaning it. “I blame his father for it. He pushed him to become stronger and then he just gave up on him.”

“Yeah. I can’t really say I’m sad about Cain.” Erik rolled his eyes. “I’ve heard and seen enough to know he’s not a good person.” _And neither am I,_ his brain supplied, _I never deserved you._

Charles stopped walking to look Erik in straight in the eyes. “Life is not entirely composed of past mistakes. No one’s immune to making bad choices. What we do next counts more than you think.”

That said Charles continued walking. Erik followed by his side again, wondering if they were still talking about Cain Marko. Just to be on the safe side he said, “Well, Cain is no longer dead set on hunting you down so that’s good. He doesn’t blame you for is mutation anymore, so he’s not a danger to you.”

“I wasn’t worried about that.” Charles said. “But thank you.”

Erik almost choked on air. His chest clenched. He did not deserve Charles to _thank him!_

“And how about your mutation, Erik?” Charles asked as if he hadn’t noticed Erik’s visible distress. “Are you comfortable with being a mutant?”

“I think I’m very comfortable with _that_ part about me.” he replied, honestly. _It’s other aspects of my personality that I have a problem with…_ he thought. He had to stir the conversation back to Charles because the gaping Charles-shaped hole in his chest was beginning to hurt him again. “What about you, Charles?” he asked. “Won’t you use the serum on yourself? Aren’t you curious what _your_ hidden mutation is?”

That same strange smiled appeared on Charles’ lips again.

“Well...” he smirked and before Erik knew it, he was pulled into a passionate kiss.

_ <<  Maybe I already know it. Maybe I had been using my mutation during the entirety of this conversation. >> _


	13. A Future

**** Erik stilled. After all this time that felt like an eternity away from the man he loved, Charles’ lips were on his again, kissing him softly, a featherlight touch as if Charles was asking for permission. And Erik was too startled and confused to actually give his permission and return the kiss. In fact, Erik was not kissing back at all. Erik remained unmoveable and stunned for a good few seconds, causing Charles to pull away cautiously and a little alarmed.  

“I’m sorry.” Charles muttered, and once again Erik saw a glimpse of that shy boy he met in the park. “This usually works in rom-coms.” 

Erik blinked at Charles dumbly. Charles elaborated awkwardly.

“You know, when the hero shows up, kisses the girl and everything is fine? Despite all the shit they’ve been through earlier?” 

The words sounded like a question even though Charles was not expecting an answer. Erik finally snapped out of his stuttering mental state, slowly returning to his senses. He didn’t want Charles to digress into the self-doubting young man he was when he felt uncomfortable. 

“Am I to understand I’m being the girl in this scenario?” Erik asked, allowing a hint of teasing in his voice. 

“Yes.” Charles nodded, then flinched, shaking his head. “Well, no. Does it matter? It doesn’t necessarily have to be a boy and a girl, does it?” 

Erik chuckled. “No, it doesn’t.” he replied with a toothy grin. 

Seeing Erik smiling encouraged Charles to smile back and his face beamed all over again. 

“I didn’t mean to startle you with the kiss. I was just caught up in the moment.” he said, less bashful this time. Erik really liked this new self-confidence in Charles. He wanted Charles to believe in himself more. He was glad to see this was happening now. 

“Well, why don’t you get caught up in the moment again then?” Erik teased and took a step closer to Charles. 

He could see the way Charles’ breathing hitched, how his eyes grew wider and his lips parted in anticipation. He leaned in and pressed their mouths together into a kiss, passionate and long like people who had missed one another desperately. His mind was spinning out of control in this frenzy of emotions. 

_ I’ve missed this! I’ve missed  _ **_you_ ** _!  _ Erik thought desperately, letting himself drown in the magnificent feeling of having Charles back in his arms. 

_ << I’ve missed you too, darling! >> _ he suddenly heard Charles’ voice  _ inside his head.  _

He gasped and pulled away wide-eyed. He heard that same voice in his head during the previous kiss too but he assumed his brain was playing tricks on him. But now it was happening again! What could that mean? 

Charles chuckled at Erik’s stunned expression, not bothering to hide his amusement anymore. 

_ << Oh, Erik. Your mind is so beautiful! But also quite loud when you’re excited. I couldn’t help replying. >> _

It was Charles’ voice -- there was no doubt in that! But Charles’ lips were curled in a fond smile. They did not move to let out words. And yet his voice sounded inside Erik’s mind! 

“You’re doing this!” Erik gasped. “You were in my head! How did you do that?”

“You have your talents, I have mine.” Charles gave a little smirk, talking out loud this time. 

“You’re a telepath?” Erik realized, not believing it and at the same time not exactly surprised either. Somehow this mutation suited Charles perfectly. 

_ << I hope that’s a good thing? >> _

“What?” 

_ << That my mutation suits me. >> _

“Oh.”  _ Shit! He can hear my thoughts. Shit! He can hear my thoughts  _ **_now_ ** _ too!  _ “Sorry…” 

“It’s perfectly fine, Erik. I understand if you’re feeling a bit uneasy. Raven was the same when we found out what my hidden potential was. Even though  _ she  _ was the one insisting on me injecting myself.” 

There were thousands of questions one might ask in a situation such as this -- when did Charles inject himself, how did the transformation go, how well has he mastered his control over his new powers -- but Erik heard himself utter none of these. Instead he said: 

“Why did you stop?” 

Charles frowned. “Stop what?”

“Talking inside my head.” Erik replied. “I sort of liked that.” 

Charles’ face softened. “Really? I sensed anxiety and nervousness about it so I pulled out.” 

“That was because of-- y’know, you finding out how pathetic I am.” 

Charles’ hand reached out for Erik, cupping his cheek lovingly. 

“You’re hardly pathetic, my friend.” Charles beamed. 

“ _Friend_?” Erik said bitterly. “I don’t deserve to be your friend. I was a mere shadow of a man without you, Charles. Even before we met I was a shadow of a person. I was so obsessed with my revenge, the things I did just to hunt down En Sabah Nur… I let what Apocalypse did to me rot inside me until I-- I just lost myself. I forgot who I truly was. I let _it_ guide my every action.” 

Charles nodded. “I know. But, Erik, that’s all in the past now. You don’t have to let it control you like that anymore. You’re free from it now. You can still have a future.” 

“Am I? Am I really?” Erik asked, voice low and intense. “After everything I’ve done, do I deserve a future?” 

“Of course you do!” Charles whispered, bringing their foreheads together, hands resting on Erik’s neck as they breathed in each other’s breaths. “Of course you do, Erik. You were badly hurt. You’ve suffered. You’ve stumbled, you’ve lost your way, but that doesn’t mean you’re lost forever.” 

Erik looked him deeply in the eyes. 

“You mean that?” 

Charles nodded with a reassuring smile. “Yes. Yes, Erik, I do. I mean it. And _I_ _love you_.” 

Erik pulled away abruptly. 

“How can you after everything you know about me? After everything you’ve seen inside my head?” 

Charles took his hand gently and that one gesture was enough to simultaneously warm Erik’s heart and break it into smithereens.  

“You’re being too hard on yourself. There’s good in you too, Erik. I’ve seen it.” Charles said. 

Erik frowned. Maybe Charles hadn’t seen it all. Maybe there were things that remained hidden from him when he was inside Erik’s mind. Why else would he accept Erik with all his sins so easily? 

But Charles  _ thought  _ he’d seen it all. And Erik  _ could  _ leave it at that. He could hide the darker sides of his mind from Charles, deceive him yet again and have him in his life. But that felt like the wrong thing to do. That felt like another lie. And he didn’t want to lie to Charles. He wanted to bare himself in front of Charles. To be emotionally and completely exposed in front of him. He wanted to show Charles all the ugly parts of his soul and be accepted by him. He needed that. And Charles deserved that too. 

“What have you seen exactly?” he asked. “What do you know about me?” 

“Everything.” Charles said confidently. 

They were silent for a long moment. Erik still having a hard time believing Charles would just accept all of him. Then Charles continued. 

“I understand it’s not easy for you to believe it, Erik, but  _ believe it _ . I can feel your pain. I know what it was like. I understand why you did what you did. And now I know you didn’t lie to me. Not about what counts. For example, you were telling the truth when you said you grew to love me.” 

“I did.” Erik breathed out.  _ But that doesn’t change anything. I still lied to you. And our relationship still started with me having every intention of using you.  _

“I told you, life is not all about past mistakes. Sometimes we need to let go.” he chuckled again. “I know letting go of things is a bit trickier for you but I’d like to help you with that.” 

“Charles, do you mean you’ll forgive me?” 

“I forgave you a long time ago, Erik. Trusting you again was the more difficult part. But now that I can literally look into your mind I see you didn’t lie to me about the important things, I can trust you again. The stuff that really mattered, you didn’t lie about those. They were real. Your kisses were real. You caring about me is real. And you won’t lie to me again.” 

“Because you’re a telepath and you would be able to tell if I did?” Erik joked. 

Charles chuckled as well. 

“Partly.” he teased. 

Erik grinned, a tear slid down his cheek but he ignored it. 

“You know, I wasn’t completely honest with you either.” Charles continued. “I never told you about Raven, I hid my research from you.” 

“It was top secret. Of course you had to hide it from me.” 

“So was yours. Your mission to get to En Sabah Nur was secret too. You couldn’t have risked everything by sharing this information with a stranger. It makes sense and I understand that now.” 

“I wanted to tell you but I was afraid…” 

“I know. We don’t have to keep talking about that anymore.” 

“I was so confused, Charles. I’ve never felt this way before.” Erik said, holding Charles’ hands tightly in his own. “I don’t know what this is, Charles, but I need you, I want you by my side!” 

Charles gave him a warm smile. 

“Oh, Erik, I’m sorry to be the one telling you this but,” Erik’s face frowned a little but Charles continued talking, “... but you’re in love with me. This is what love feels like.” 

Erik grinned his huge shark-grin again. “I suspected that.” he said. “But it’s convenient to have a telepath’s confirmation too.” 

Charles chuckled. “I guess.” 

“Charles, can you trust me again? Can we start anew?” 

“I don’t want us to start anew, Erik. I want us to take off from where we left. This connection between us, that was real and I want to build on that.” 

“That’s more than I can ever ask for.” Erik smiled back. 

“But there’s one other thing…” 

“Yes?” 

“I was wondering if-- if you’d want to meet Raven?” 

Charles was so sheepish when he asked that. It was adorable. Erik beamed at him. 

“I would love to meet her.” 

Charles looked relieved at that. Erik could tell making a good impression to Raven was important for Charles. He had to do his best not to let down Charles during that meeting. Not to let down Charles ever. 

“I hope she likes me…” 

“I have a feeling she will.” Charles beamed back at him. 

“In that case, I’ll meet your sister right after our usual morning jog.” he winked. 

They shared a smile, Charles hooked his arm under Erik’s and they walked together, side by side. And this time they both knew they were going to walk together for the rest of their lives. 


	14. A Beautiful Aesthetic :)

This beautiful aesthetic was made by the awesome [@cherik-is-really-gay](https://tmblr.co/mCJmwiPF6crHlPT-D5zs9EA) especially for this story! I'm so touched :') Thank you, darling!  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and kudos-ing! It means so much to me!  
> I hope you enjoyed it! ^_^  
> Have a groovy day!


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